Broken Shadows
by Maqeurious
Summary: The Collectors are dealt with and Shepard is finally able to relax, but after finding a message she is again pulled into Mindoir.  FemshepXGarrus.  Rated for Language and smut scenes.  The final chapter is up.  Please enjoy :D
1. Peach Schnapps

_Hi guys, well this is my FIRST fanfic ever so please be gentle. I'm a rabid fan of the Mass Effect series and have been hankering to write something about these awesome characters. I'm not a pro writer, just someone that loves to write. I am currently writing my second chapter, so it should be up in a week or so. Between work and play it's hard to find the time, but I'm anxious to see where this tale goes. This will be a Garrus/FemShep pairing. Any ideas about story lines and well recieved and please rate and comment, even if its to say you don't like it.. I THINK I can handle that :D_

_Also.. I'm struggling to come up with a title, so any help on that front would be great. Anyway, enjoy :D_

_XXX Maqi_

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**Peach Scnhapps**

Peach Schnapps was always Shepards favourite. The strong tangy flavour always reminded her of her mothers perfume and how she would always be over the kitchen sink washing the faint dusting of powdered sugar from her hands after making Maqis favourite cookies. The memory of her mother tugged at her stomach. It had been 16 years since Mindoir. Since they were taken from her.

She shook the vision from her mind and downed the rest of her drink slowly swivelling her stool around towards the table at the other end of the bar. They were all there. Drinking, talking and laughing. She had to blink hard just to make sure they were actually real. She couldn't believe they had all survived. Their so-called suicide mission was almost just that, but with quick thinking and exemplary teamwork on all parts her and her team were able to finally relax and celebrate the defeat of the Collectors.

A small smile graced her lips. She was so proud of her team and when Kasumi and Kelly suggested they celebrate at the Dark Star who was she to refuse? This was the only place on the Citadel that served Peach Schnapps after all.

Ordering another drink she eyed the individuals at the table.

Jack and Kelly were talking rapidly to each other and occasionally checked out the table behind them that was now crowded with four human men doing some gossiping and checking out of their own. Shepard could only wonder which one of the two girls was trying to convince the other to make the first move. She didn't know if they knew or not, but those two were like peas in a pod. Jack, minus the all incessant talkativeness, and Kelly minus the psychotic murderous tendencies. Other then that, Peas. Pods.

Jacob was leaning towards the table in front of theirs sweet talking some Asari that would giggle every now and then with a flirtatious smile. Shepard couldn't help but laugh to herself, looks like someone was going to get lucky tonight.

On the other hand Thane sat at the end of the table with a group of 3 women that couldn't take their eyes off him. Poor bastard, he looked so uncomfortable and irritated. Shepard considered going over to save him from the unwanted attention but decided against it. It was more fun to see him squirm and loose that usual cool calm confidence he always had.

Garrus sat opposite him with two hangers on of his own but seemed to be enjoying the attention a lot more. One of the girls, a human girl, was leaning into him quite closely whispering into his ear about gods know what. Hmm, that bugged her a little.

"You're keeping it low-key Commander." Shaking herself out of the depths of her mind, she smiled at her XO and placed the now empty glass back on the bar. How many drinks was that now? 8?9?

"What about you Miranda. You're not joining in on the fun?"

Placing her own empty wine glass on the bar, Miranda flashed a sly grin before wrapping her arm around the young man that was half hidden in the shadows behind her.

"I've had my fill of jovial camaraderie and now, it's time for me to get what's coming to me." Even though it was dark in the club Shepard could have sworn she saw the young man blush. The poor thing had no idea what he was in for.

Shepard hid her encroaching grin and dipped her eyes at Miranda. She was looking smoking hot tonight. Her body was so lithe and perfectly accentuated by the slick black catsuit she had become accustomed to wear lately. Gods! Shepard was so jealous! Their bodies were so different. Miranda was like a slight graceful panther, Shepard was like a thick muscled lion. Sigh...

"Ok, well take it easy on the poor thing would you", Shepard murmured, then addressing the boy she added, "Don't let her eat you all up at once. She's voracious." Shepard saw the fear and excitement in his eyes and as she watched them leave Miranda took the forefront and suggestively sashayed the soon to be devoured through the door.

Turning her attention back to the table and Thanes almost pained expression she finally gave in and after ordering another delicious schnapps she decided to save her assassin.

As she approached the table, on shaky legs, the two hangers on crowding Garrus gave her a querying look and snuggled closer towards him. He was completely unaware of the looks she got, his attention focused solely on the two pairs of breasts that were pressed against either side of chest. Hmm, that bugged her even more.

Thane looked up at Shepard as she neared, his dark eyes pleading with her to help him. She smiled widely and took a seat next to one of the Asari that didn't even have the decency to look up from her object of desire and acknowledge her. She couldn't blame her though, Thane was utterly gorgeous and exuded sex appeal like thick hot smoke. Shepard herself thought about what it would be like to take the drell into her bed, have his slightly rough body heavy on top of her own, but he was so focused on his lost love Irika, she didn't want to taint him with her school girl crush. However, as their time together grew longer since his recruitment they became very close friends and there was no way she going to ruin that. And right now he needed a friend.

Smoothing out her tight black dress she leaned over the table past the 3 women vying for his attention and rested on her elbows giving Thane a knowing look and winked.

"My, my, aren't you a sight." Her voice was like a kitten purring, low and sensual. She grinned slightly and reached out her hand to stroke the side of his face. "How about you and me get outta here and have our own private party?" Thanes eyes softened and he smiled. The woman surrounding him finally dragged their lustful gazes from him and stared hard at Shepard.

"What do you think you're doing girl!" one of them said, "We were here first", said another. Shepard took no notice of them and instead ran her hand down Thanes face, neck and trailed his arm until finally resting on his hand that was tightly clenching at the empty glass of water.

"Your offer is.. intriguing," the assassin said in an equally low tone. Shepard felt her insides implode at his voice. He leaned forward into Shepard who was basically lying on the table and brought their hands to his mouth and lightly kissed the tips of her fingers. Well, the women went into a rage!

"_Get lost human!" "Find your own drell" "Fuck off_!"

Shepard ignored them again smiled into Thanes eyes. How was she going to get rid of these hags? She had no weapon, thanks to Kelly forbidding it for one night. But as soon as the thought entered her mind it left again. Having no gun was probably a good idea.

"Ladies, there is no need to be rude." Shepard noticed Thane stifle an emerging grin as he calmly spoke to the enraged women surrounding him. Their faces were red with rage but Shepard couldn't take her eyes of Thanes face. What was that look? Playfulness? Mischievousness? Whatever it was it lit a small fire inside Shepard that made her squirm in her seat.

"I think you girls should leave, the drell and I have business to attend to."

"Like hell bitch, we were here first. The one leaving is you!"

Shepard dragged her gaze from Thane and eyed the Asari that dared speak to her. Was she really trying to pick a fight with her? How... comical.

"I'm only going to say this once honey, fuck off now and you won't get hurt. The drell is mine and if you think YOU of all people are going to go home with him you're kidding yourself. Understand me?"

Shepard released a small field of her biotic energy the pale blue shimmering all around her and smiled. The Asaris eyes widened and she backed off a little. The other two women, another Asari and a human murmured something about it not being worth it and hastily made their exits.

"You're threatening me human? Who the hell do you think you are?" Her face was hardened with rage. Shepard was getting pretty sick of this whole thing about now and knew that just one slug to her pretty face would have this mess cleaned up. That wasn't going over the top was it? Just one small tap to her temple.

Behind her Thane softly placed his hand on the asaris shoulder and pulled her back, out of Shepards face and arms length. He obviously knew her too well.

"Miss, it would be a good idea if you left. My friend here has a temper and it is not something you would like to experience first hand, believe me."

The Asari narrowed her eyes at Thane and after a few seconds stood abruptly and stormed off, cursing under her breath. Shepard let out a small giggle and after watching the pissed off girl head out the club doors she straightened in her seat again, leaned back with her arms folded and glared whimsically at Thane who returned her look with one just as haughty.

"Thank you for your assistance Shepard. Their company was getting rather... tiresome." Thane kept his voice low and smooth.

"Why didn't you just tell them to go away then?"

He let out a small sigh, "I did, many times but every time I spoke they seemed to just want to stay more." They shared a laugh and finally relaxed, Shepard letting her biotic flow ebb.

"Just admit it Thane, you actually enjoyed the attention of 3 young women didn't you?"

He dipped his head, hiding a shy smile and cleared his throat. "I did at first, but it got boring rather quickly. I had to slip into my own memories to find a little peace from their ranting. There is only so much I can take."

Shepard laughed and playfully hit Thane in the shoulder, "You're such a dog Thane!"

"I think I am going to head back to the Normandy Shepard, the air in here is starting to get a little stagnant,"

"Ok, just take it easy alright, I'll see you in the morning. I want you to come along with me to see Liara if you're up for it."

"We're heading back to Illiam?"

"Yeah, I got some Intel about the Shadow Broker I want to share with her. But only if you're feeling ok, let me know after you've rested 'k."

He nodded his head slightly and turned to leave, "I will be fine Shepard, I will be ready when you need me."

Left alone now sitting at the empty end of the table she looked around and saw that most of her crew had gone their own way. Jack and Kelly were leaving with their group of guys dragging a very reluctant Kasumi in their trail. Jacob was now full on making out with the Asari he had been flirting with and with Zaeed and Grunt comfortably getting drunk and god knows what else at Choras Den she was stuck at the Star watching Garrus get hit on by two very annoying and dared she think it... ugly women. Already she was thinking she should have taken Tali up on her offer for a quiet night in.

The bar was pumping, the loud thumping bass rang heavily through the club. Shepard loved this kind of music, the intoxicating beat always made her want to shut her eyes and sway fervently to the musical noise that drummed through her veins. The last time she really let herself go was... Gods! She couldn't even remember. Her 21st birthday maybe? Wow, that was a long time ago. Getting lost in her memories again she didn't even notice when a hand came down on her shoulder and squeezed lightly.

"My my, if it isn't the hero of the Citadel."

Shepard turned her head to the side and was met by the eyes of a rather tall Turian. He was looking down at her with half closed eyes and a what could only be described as a cheeky smile. His mandibles twitched slightly, was he waiting for an invitation to sit down?

"You are Commander Shepard, aren't you?"

"I am," she said softly, her voice barely audible over the blaring music, "please, have a seat."

He took to the chair like a madman and scooted it as close as he could towards her so they could talk without having to shout at each other. His closeness was suddenly very apparent to her. He wasn't bad looking, for a Turian. Not that she ever thought about 'going there' with one. He was a lovely shade of ash grey, his brilliant white markings finely accentuating the curves of his face and piercing eyes. He was either drunk, or well on his way to it as evident by the half empty glass of some blue concoction in his hand.

"It seems," he purred, "the rumours of your death were ill informed." He gave her a slight smile, the corner of his mouth raising showing the faint glimmer of perfectly white teeth.

"And who might you be then?" She asked slowly, eyeing him up and down. He didn't seem to have a weapon on him, that she could see anyway. Funny how that was always the first thing she looked for. She never did like the fact that people recognised her out of uniform, especially strangers.

"Me? No one special, just someone who saw you from across the bar and wanted to say hello. You may call me Lorkan, Commander Shepard." He extended his hand towards her which she took carefully and shook. Without warning he brought her hand to his face and pressed his mouth to it kissing it very slightly before releasing her. She could feel the heat raising from her neck.

"It.. it's a p..pleasure to meet you.." Was she stuttering? Damn schnapps must be coming back to haunt her. ".. and what brings you out to The Dark Star Lounge tonight Lorkan?"

"Drinks with a few friends," he replied noticing her fleeting embarrassment at his kiss, "one of them is celebrating his induction into the Alliance Military. A foolhardy decision I say," he said with a smirk, "but he seems to want to serve."

The Alliance. How she missed the service. The friends. The security. And oh yes, her own induction and the celebration that came afterwards. By the Gods, she was hammered that night, something her commanding officer made her regret the next day.

"And are you a military man yourself Lorkan?"

"All Turians are in one way or another Commander. We like to get into the... thick of things." He stared intently into Shepards eyes as he spoke, the slight tinge of flirtation on the edge of his words. Shepard found herself suddenly.. uncomfortable. Not bad uncomfortable, but.. weird uncomfortable.

"I'm sure you do." She shifted in her seat momentarily brushing her bare leg against the Turian. A small rumbling growl found it's way out from the depths of Lorkans throat. The sound... did something to her insides. Something... warm.

"You know, you're quite ah... beautiful in person. The pictures and reports on you do you no justice. You know.. for a human I mean." He stuttered, or more like.. fell.. over the words as he spoke them.

Ok, she was definitely getting some weird feeling right now. She had never thought about becoming involved with someone other then another human. Interspecies sexual relations just seemed way to foreign to her. She knew it happened all the time, but still. It was probably the mixture of the loud music, however many drinks she had and the attention of someone so unlike her that made her want to... try...?

No.. no, she couldn't do that at all. Not while the prospect of... that man was still there.

No.. no. That was not an option any more. They were finished, he saw to that. Even after that message any likelihood that they were going to get back together was dashed. His words on Horizon haunted her even now. Traitor. She was a traitor. She had betrayed him. There was no coming back from those words. Not even through a weak apology. That crossed the line.

But this was something new, a game she had never played before. Well, other then the usual innuendo her and Garrus would indulge in now and again when she visited him in the main battery of the the Normandy.

She noticed Lorkan was still staring at her while she swirled in her own thoughts again and blinked a few times before remembering how to speak.

"Are you coming on to me Turian, or is this just my imagination?"

He laughed at that, raking his hand across his face and through is ridges. It was adorable, making Shepard smile fondly. She remembered she had made Garrus respond the same way once.

"And if I was Commander, would that be so bad?" She brought her hand up to her lips to hide her smile.

"I suppose not, but what makes you think I am even interested?"

She stared hard into Lorkans eyes a sly grin on her lips. She was flirting, she knew it, even if she wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. Even more so, he knew it too. His mandibles flickered slightly his tongue quickly licking his lips and he smiled leaning even more forward into Shepard.

"Have you ever had a Turian, Commander? Have you ever had... the pleasure?" His breath was hot on her neck, the strong smell of alcohol wafted between them. The low growl in his throat sparked a flame in her and she lazily closed her eyes, leaning her head against the side of his. Her breathing was becoming ragged amplified by the swimming in her head. The affects of schnapps were definitely becoming apparent. She swooned against him.

"I c..can't say that I h..ave.." she was breathless. Opening her eyes she noticed the floor was turning into a ocean of ripples. The Turian was nothing but a hazy blur.

Fuck.. I think I'm going to..

It was weird. Shepard couldn't tell if the room was turning upside down or if SHE was. There was a rush of what sounded like the ocean in her ears and the burning in her throat made her bring her hands up to her mouth. She was going to vomit.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that Lorkan had backed off, his voice nothing but a distant high pitched hum among the throng of vicious beats emanating from the clubs sound system. How could she have let herself get this bad? She didn't even think she had drunk so much.

The acidic bile in her throat was threatening to come forth, Shepard shakily got to her feet but as her weight shifted her knees gave way and she was falling.. falling..

Strong hands caught her before she hit the ground. Her vision was blurred but she turned her head to see the Turian cradling her in his arms. He said something but she couldn't quite make out what it was as hard as she strained to listen. The jerking in her stomach became too much to bear and she squirmed in the Turians arms trying to settle herself on her hands and knees.

"I'm.. gon... be...sic.." She tried to hold it in. There was no way she WANTED to be sick in front of all these people. But she couldn't stop it, the need was too great. She had to relieve the tension, get the burning ick out of her system.

With a final groan her stomach rolled and in one go she emptied her poisoned gut on the floor of The Dark Star Lounge.


	2. Frustration & Awkwardness

_Hello again guys,_

_Well, this is chapter 2 in my story. Please let me explain what I have done. After I wrote the first chapter I re-read it like 100 times and always wondered to myself what Garrus was really doing/thinking, so I decided to write about that. I have broken up this chapter into 2 parts. The first part is a quick retell of Chapter 1 through Garrus' eyes, and the second part is the time they share on the way back to the Normandy. That was... HARD! I wanted their alone time to be awkward, hence the title. __I've spent like, 6 hours doing just that small section lol._

_Anyway, once again I hope you enjoy. Rate and comment please. And thanks to those that have subscribed to my story, it's because of you guys that I was motivated to continue writing. I have an idea where this story is going now, as chapter 3 will finally have a bit more action._

_Thanks guys_

_xxx Maqi_

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**Frustration**

Garrus had been watching her all night. As crowded as he was by these two... women at his side, he couldn't help but notice Shepard on the other side of the club sitting very precariously at the bar with another drink in her hand. Did she even realise how much she had consumed tonight? Aside from the first few rounds of shooters when they first arrived, Shepard was onto her twelfth glass of whatever brew she so thoroughly enjoyed.

He was very clever though, he never once let her know that he was watching her, always averting his gaze before hers came to rest on him. That was a good sign, right? She'd looked in his direction a total of thirteen times in the last hour, uh... not that he was counting or anything.

It was safe to look now though, she was being occupied by Miranda and some scrawny human boy that she was hanging onto for dear life.

She looked... incredible! Her long finely toned legs finally on show, something she rarely let happen. Her tight black dress, the only one she owned by his recollection, clung snugly to her body giving her hips and breasts a seductive curve. She was wearing make-up, which was even rarer for her, the dark black Kohl outlining her emerald green eyes and framed with the longest, thickest lashes he had ever seen on a human. Her lips were coloured a mild shade of red, perfectly applied. Her rich mahogany hair was bundled on top of her head in such shapely curls with a few wisps framing her face. He had to wonder if Kasumi had anything to do with Shepards appearance.

Spirits, she looked... incredible! In her armour she was like a wild animal, fierce and insatiable. But like this, dressed as she was... she was so... desirable!

"So? What did you say you do?" The human girl snuggled closer into the side of him, her eyes taking him in with obvious lust. Garrus rolled his eyes, how much longer did he have to entertain these dimwits before Shepard came to talk to him.

"Uh, C-Sec," he replied sounding bored, "I work for C-Sec. Just an officer, nothing special." A smile spread across her face and she pushed her body against him. On his opposite side the young Asari followed suit a deep purr emanating from within her.

"How... dangerous. Is that how you got this?" She ran her hand down the length of his face admiring the scar taking no notice of how he flinched. It didn't hurt, well not any more then it usually did, he just didn't like the feel of her on his skin.

He caught her hand and brought it back down to the table. "Ah yeah,"

What was she doing over there? Did he just...? Did Thane just kiss Shepard on the hand?

A small bundle of anger roiled in his gut. _What the hell was that about? _

He didn't like it. He didn't like how Thane looked at Shepard, all doe eyed, windswept and interesting!And her! She was revelling in it! Was she really interested in the drell that much? He was popular with the ladies, that was evident, but... but... gah! Not Shepard too!

"How about we go back to my room? I have a place upstairs.." The Asari ran her hand down the front of Garrus lightly massaging his chest through his civilian attire. The human girl leaned in and whispered in his ear, her hot breath burning his neck. "Come upstairs sweetheart, we'll take good care of you."

Ignoring them Garrus watched as Thane left the bar leaving Shepard by herself. This was his chance. All he had to do was go over there and sit with her.

He started to stand but was pulled back down by two pairs of hands. The human girl, whatever her name was, slunk into his lap quickly and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Where're you going honey? Don't you want to come play with us?"

He tried to push her off but as quickly as the human did, the Asari climbed into lap too. She was almost blocking his view of Shepard who was slowly swaying in her seat before... before... NO!

No! No! This wasn't... FAIR! Spirits! Who was THIS idiot!

"Come on honey," the human whispered again, "come up to our room." She was definitely getting bolder and before Garrus could protest she grabbed him under the chin and brought his face down to hers roughly kissing him on the mouth.

That was too far!

He pulled himself away from the girl and abruptly stood causing the two dimwits to drop to the floor landing with a satisfying thud.

Across the table Shepard and the Turian were engaged in conversation and entirely too close for his liking. How did this happen? Who was he? A low rumbling growl forced it's way up from the depths of his throat and he clenched his fists. Why did this always happen? Someone always got in the way!

Scrambling up from the floor the two women pushed Garrus, both of their faces contorted with anger.

"What the fuck!"

"What's your problem!"

He ignored them focusing on Shepard and her new 'friend' and furrowed his brow. Something was wrong. Her eyes were glazed and she was slumping in her chair worse then before. He took a step around the two frantic women lightly pushing them out of his way and made his way to where Shepard was trying to stand.

That was when she fell.

Garrus got to her like lightening catching her before she hit the ground and pulled her into his arms cradling her head. She reeked of alcohol. The other Turian backed off a slight look of disappointment etched on his face. He narrowed his eyes at him wishing he could explode the idiots face with his mind before focusing his attention back on his Commander.

"Shepard? Hey, Shepard.. are you alright?"

She looked up at him but there was no recognition in her eyes. She looked so.. fragile.

Without warning Shepard started to squirm in his grasp. He fumbled over her, his hands grazing against her exposed flesh sending a ripple of fire throughout his entire body. She was so small in his arms. He loved the soft feel of her, so warm.. so...

She mumbled something, rocking Garrus out of his illicit thoughts and then she did something completely unlike her. She threw up all over the floor.

Garrus sighed, holding back any stray hairs that found their way into her face and smiled in spite of himself.

By the Spirits, he loved her!

o.O.o

**Awkwardness**

Ass! Her mouth tasted like... ass! The burning in her throat was finally gone only to be replaced with the urgent need for water, Gods her mouth was dry!

"Shepard? Are you awake?"

She wriggled slightly, what was that she felt? It was hard, but.. warm.

"Hmm.." her head was pounding in her ears.

"Hey, Shepard?"

Opening her eyes was a chore, the light felt like razors making the white spots in her vision pulse with fervour. Shielding herself from the brightness she lifted her head and was met by the intense blue and somewhat worrying eyes of her lieutenant.

"G..Garrus," she said, her voice cracking, "what happened? What's going on?"

"You passed out Shepard," he said softly, careful not to aggravate what he was sure to be a hell of a headache.

"I.. I did?" She tried to push herself upright and then realised the position she was in.

She was leaning against Garrus, her head rested comfortably against his chest and his arm was around her shoulders holding her close to him. The heat coming from him made her tingle.

"Yeah, after you were sick you were out like a light," he explained, "the manager of the Star was pretty angry."

She felt her face go red, "Oh my God, how embarrassing!"

"It's not so bad," he laughed quietly, "hardly anyone saw."

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up Vakarian!" She was too tired to be angry so she smiled instead and feeling the full weight of her body become slack with exhaustion she returned to the warm comfort of Garrus' shoulder and snuggled up against him, unaware of how his body become rigid.

The sound of the shuttle engines was a gentle hum trying to lull her back into sleep before Garrus moved and Shepard felt a cool wet sensation against her forehead.

"Here, I got you some water before we left. Thought you might need it."

Her eyes coming alive, Shepard reached for the bottle and took a long hard drink of the cool liquid. She could feel it spread through her, revitalising her limbs and making her feel more awake.

Wiping the water from her lips she sat up and leaned against the interior of the shuttle wall now fully aware of just how cold she was.

"So, how did I get here anyway?"

"I.. ah... carried you." Garrus looked away as he spoke, "We should be back on the Normandy in a few minutes."

"You... carried me?" She wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. Over the shoulder, or princess?

"Ah.. yeah." He was clearly uncomfortable, fidgeting in his seat and straightening out the non existent creases in his pants. The sight brought a small smile to her lips.

They were alone in the shuttle, the rest of her crew must have decided to stay on the Citadel and continue to party. Well, THAT didn't make her feel old!

An awkward silence descended on them making Shepard feel suddenly uncomfortable. Out the corner of her eye Garrus was looking straight ahead his mandibles twitching slightly. What was he thinking? In his lap his hands clenched tightly and he was shaking his leg as if he was... irritated. The look on his face was pained.

"Garrus.. thank you," she covered his hand with her own and looked up into his eyes and smiled "you always have my back don't you?"

Returning her smile Garrus seemed to relax, "No problem Shepard, besides I couldn't very well leave you there. Your friend looked terrified when you fainted."

"My friend?" Searching her memory the image of the Turian from the bar came back to her, "Oh.. yeah, him."

"You two seemed to be quite.. ah, friendly."

Did they? She couldn't remember much about the last few hours.

"Really? Funny, I can't even remember his name." Shepard gave up trying to remember and returned her focus to her hand that was still in Garrus' grasp.

"Uh, is that so? I don't remember you ever being you know.. interested in other species Shepard, just what were you drinking tonight?"

"Schnapps man," she said with a quiet laugh, "I never even thought I had that many." When did she loose count anyway? "Besides, it wouldn't have gone anywhere, I'm not the one-night stand kind of girl."

Where did that come from?

His hand shivered in hers causing her to momentarily withdraw from him hold. As soon as she let him go she missed the feel of him, the hard smooth skin, the heat. Her brow crinkled at the confusion of it all, but she went back and interlaced her fingers with his once more.

"Well, he seemed very interested from what I could see."

Shepard noticed he was staring at their hands too, a look of abashment on his face.

"Trust me," she said, looking back down at their fingers, "it would never have gone that far. Not that I'm against it or anything," she added with a shaky voice, "but like I said, I don't do one-night stands."

He was stroking her palm now, she could feel it all the way up her arm causing the small fair hairs there to stand on end.

She swallowed deeply before continuing, "besides, if I was going to, uh.." she swallowed again trying to withdraw focus from the tingling in her arm but failing horribly, "..experiment with a Turian...," Gods, what was he doing to her? Her voice was ragged now, "..it would have to be with someone I know, and trust. You know,..." she said almost out of breath, "..like you."

Her heart stopped dead in her chest, did she really just say that? She couldn't look up at him, she didn't want to see the look on his face. For the second time tonight, Shepard thought she was going faint. His hand in hers stopped moving, instead he gripped onto her fingers tightly.

She had to say something, anything to quell the tension that was rapidly building. Her and her stupid mouth!

"Uh.., I'm just saying.. IF, you know." Yeah, that didn't help at all.

As if answering her prayers the shuttle bounced around roughly as it docked inside the cargo hold of the Normandy causing their hands to be freed from each other. Shepard quickly stood and pushed the lock release to open the door. She had to get out.

With a nervous laugh she straightened out her dress, ran her fingers through the mess on top of her head and wished to God the redness in her face would subside.

"I'm uh, going to head up to bed Vakarian," she said fumbling over her own feet as she headed down the walkway. The ground came rushing up to meet her, her legs were still jelly, but before she hit the floor arms were once again around her pulling her back onto unsteady feet.

Garrus was holding her, her back pressing hard against him while his arms embraced her tightly.

"Please, be careful Shepard. Maybe I should call for Dr. Chakwas to help you up to bed."

She wanted to explode. The hardness of his body did... something to her that scared the shit out of her and nothing.. NOTHING scared Shepard!

Struggling like a bug in a web she tried to pull herself away from him, but his hold was too great and he spun her on her heels until they were face to face. Sucking in a breath she eye balled him, he was so close to her she could smell the faint taint of alcohol coming from him. How long they stared at each other she didn't know, his arms still wrapped around her waist cradling her ever closer into him while she rested her hands on his chest.

This was... was...

Knocking the incoherent thought from her head, Garrus gently released her and took a step back. The cold came rushing in where he once was and for a second Shepard wanted to throw herself into his arms again.

"Shall I call the Dr.?"

"Huh? No, that's alright," she stammered, "I can make it."

Turning her back was harder to do then she thought it would be but as she neared the elevator the urge to run was becoming overwhelming, she pressed the call button with the feeling of eyes boring into her back.

What was she doing? When did this happen? How did it come to this?

The elevator door opened and she threw herself in frantically pressing the button to her quarters. All she wanted to do was get to her room, take a shower... a very very cold one and bury herself as far under her blankets as she could go.

As the doors closed she dared look back at Garrus who was still where she had left him standing by the shuttle with a look of perplexity on his face marred only by the slight twinge of a smile.


	3. Spectres, Brooding and Mindoir OH MY!

_Hello again guys,_

_First and foremost, THANKS to all those that have subscribed and commented. I really appriciate it! It makes me want to write and write and write! Though, after this chapter I am totally wiped out. Waking up every morning with a cronic headache and sore eyes thanks to my laptop is taking its toll, so I might take a break for a day or two lol._

_This chapter is a bit long. I have broken it up into 3 parts to make it easier. Again, please R + R and I'll see ya in a bit :D_

_Much Luv_

_Maqi_

**Spectres**

Falling from a window four storeys high, clutching onto a psycho crazed bitch was not Shepards idea of a good afternoon. She had woken up with such a hangover she thought a bunch of volus were pummelling the back of her eyeballs! And if that wasn't enough, not only could she not stomach the breakfast Dr Chakwas brought up to her, but she had slipped in the shower and was now sporting a rather aggressive looking shiner. Of all the things she could be doing today, landing flat on her ass was not at the top of her list. Gods, this day sucked!

Liara landed just behind her, her heels driving hard into the floor and she took off before Shepard even had a chance to get up. She rolled her eyes; nice, Liara.. nice.

Pulling her to her feet, Thane gave Shepard a quick once over before pushing her behind a pillar, aimed his rifle and took the first few shots at the agents pouring in through the door. These guys were seriously beginning to piss her off. How many did the Shadow Broker have anyway?

As they fought their way through the Centre all Shepard could think about was how Liara was so different. Yeah alright, what the Shadow Broker had done to her was bad and she did feel sorry for her, but this just wasn't right. She was cold, too cold.

Shepard thought back to Illium and her reunion with her former team mate. _"Have you ever faced an Asari Commando unit before? Few humans have.." _Shepard felt her blood run cold. Benezia had said the same thing, before trying to kill her.

Finally at the front entrance she spied Liara and saw she had Vasir cornered. Aiming her gun she motioned for Thane and Kasumi to flank the Asari, but before they could get into position Vasir jumped from the ledge and made her escape. "Damn it!" Liara cursed, fiddling with her own omni-tool, breaking into the closet vehicle.

Shepard was past pissed now, "Kasumi!" she barked, "head back to the Normandy and tell the others to gear up, just in case," and as she holstered her gun she screamed into her earpiece making her helmsman jump at the tone of her voice, "Joker, lock on to my position and follow me".

"I can't believe she duped me," Shepard groaned, "damned bitch is going to pay!" She heard Thane laugh beside her and she glared daggers at him.

"Relax Shepard," he said calmly, placing a steady hand on her shoulder, "we'll find her."

Reaching the car she motioned for Thane to jump in the back while she flopped down heavily in the front seat.

"Quick Shepard, we have to follow her. Drive!" Liaras eyes never left the sky watching intently where the other car was heading. Shepard grabbed the controls, slammed down the door and threw it into gear.

"I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking," she said coolly before hitting the gas and taking off.

Driving through the skyway was more dangerous then she thought it would be, but at such high speeds what did she really expect. In the back, Thane clung heavily to the back of her seat to stop himself from being thrown around. To her right, Liara hung for dear life to the door handle screaming directions. This was fun! The adrenaline pumping through her propelled Shepard to go faster, harder. The oncoming traffic and the mines brought a wicked smile to her lips.

"What kind of guns does this thing have?" Gods, she wanted to blow the Spectre bitch out of the sky!

"It's a taxi, it has a fare meter!"

Well, that was disappointing. The Asari knew how to drive, Shepard would give her that much.

"Truck! Truck!" Liaras voiced was tense, what did she think Shepard was? Blind?

"I know! I know!" The truck came at them with uncontrollable speed, blocking the entire skyway. Over? Under? Over?

OVER! She pulled hard on the controls and the nose of the car jerked upwards forcing all three of them hard into their seats, the bottom sliding on the cab of the behemoth. Shepard had to force the controls to the right and down sharply to avoid the building coming up on them fast. Too close.. much too close!

Shepard finally zoned back onto the Asaris car, she was zigzagging like crazy trying her hardest to shake them off.

Bitch, bitch.. BITCH!

"Watch out!" The other truck came out of no where and before Shepard could react their car hit the side of it sending them into a tail spin. Struggling with the controls she managed to bring the vehicle back into alignment in time to see Vasir come up hard on her left and she rammed the side of her car as hard as she could forcing Vasir down and into a head on collision with an oncoming car. Her vehicle choked and spluttered sending the back into a roar of flames. They watched as Vasir crash landed outside Azure and climb out. Shepard cursed under her breath, the bitch was still alive.

Fuck! This day definitely sucked!

o.O.o

**Brooding**

Garrus sat on the floor, his back against his terminal and his head buried in his hands. Shepard had left him behind, and he didn't blame her at all.

By the Spirits! What was he doing? She was his friend, his Commander.. she was HUMAN!

Her words from last night came back to taunt him, _"..it would have to be with someone I know, and trust.. like you." _What did she mean by that?

When did it even happen?

He had always respected Shepard, ever since she helped him take down that ass Dr. Saleon and when they fought for their lives against Saren. He had never met a human like her. She was strong, confident and knew how to get things done without worrying about the consequences. But she was also fair and gentle. She confused him more than anything, and when he heard she had died two years ago.. he.. he..well suffice to say his life ended that day too and he buried himself into what ever work he could find.

But when he saw her in his scope on Omega he could literally feel his heart begin to beat again. She was alive! His Shepard! His Commander, and all the confusing things he felt for her came rushing back making his hands shake.

And now, this! Her reappearance had caused him to question everything he knew about himself. His choices, his past. His feelings.

Raising his head he chided himself for brooding and stood.

Ok, so what if she avoided him earlier when she took Thane and Kasumi on the mission to Illium, and so what if she shied away from him when he tried to ask her about her black eye. That was nothing, he could handle that. It wasn't like Shepard had told him to leave her alone and she never wanted to see him again, so that was encouraging.

Slamming his fist on his computer he growled loudly. Damn it! He should have told her when he had the chance! When she was in his arms, looking up at him with fragile eyes! He should have told her he loved her! He should have... he should have kissed her! Sure, he probably would have gotten a knock to the face, but it would have been worth it!

Sucking in a strained breath he tried to calm down. His insides felt like they were bubbling over. What was he going to do?

Behind him the Battery door hissed alive and Kasumi peeked inside.

"Is everything alright in here?" she asked, "I heard something?"

Garrus turned and leaned against his console, folding his arms and etching his brow. "Everything is fine Ms. Goto, just trying to, ah.. figure out these calibrations." He was a bad liar.

"I see," she entered the room letting the door close behind her. Garrus wanted to pick her up and throw her out, he wasn't quite sure about this particular girl, but he kept his breathing even to calm himself.

"I was hoping to talk to you actually," she said, taking a seat on the container in the corner, "I've been trying to get you alone for a couple days now."

Garrus gripped the edge of his console and lifted his head. "What now?"

"Relax Vakarian," she giggled, "I don't mean it like that. I wanted to talk to you, about the Commander."

His whole body stiffened, he was definitely not ready for this.

"I've seen how you look her Garrus, I think it's really sweet."

He was not hearing this! He had always been so careful not to let the others know how he felt. He was always careful not to stare too long, or hang around Shepard too much. On the surface he showed Shepard all the respect a Lieutenant should give their commanding officer and nothing more. How the hell did this girl figure him out?

"You're thinking too hard Garrus, I'm a thief remember. I'm supposed to see things others don't."

"What do you want Ms Goto? Surely you haven't come here to give me a hard time. I realise the difficult situation I have put myself in, there is no need for you to rub it in."

Kasumi laughed, not out of mockery, but because of how easily Garrus had just confessed.

He turned his back on her, hoping she would take the hint and leave. She didn't.

"Did you miss the part where I said I thought it was sweet?"

"Why are you here Ms Goto?" he asked again, his voice strained.

"Garrus, look," she moved to his side poking her head into his peripheral vision and smiled, "do you love her?"

His heart stopped in his chest and he turned, glaring at her.

"You don't have to be ashamed," she continued, " I like you Garrus, and I think you and Shepard could make a good couple, but.." she stopped mid sentence and looked away. Garrus followed her with his eyes as she returned to her seat.

"But?"

"I.. I'm worried about her," she said. Kasumi played with the fringe of her hood a biting look across her face like she was trying to lace together the right words.

"Worried? Is something wrong?"

"Not wrong per se, I'm just... concerned you know," she hesitated before finishing her sentence, "about her previous LT."

Garrus could feel the anger building inside him. Alenko! The man had destroyed Shepard in more ways then one. He'd taken everything Shepard held in her heart and thrown it back in her face. Meeting him on Horizon again after all this time had been a fleeting pleasant emotion until he turned on them. Turned on her! The man was scum.

"Why are you concerned about him? He's out of her life now."

Kasumi shifted in her seat, slowly nodding her head. "I no that, but it still leaves a hole Garrus, losing someone always does." Garrus remembered she spoke from experience.

"Listen Kasumi," he said softly finally letting his irritation at her visit subside, "I realise Shepard is still probably hurting over what he did, but I know her. She's strong, and she'll deal with it like she deals with everything. By facing it head on when the time is right." Or he could just rid the galaxy of Alenko and let that be the end of it, he thought with a sly grin.

His answer seemed to appease Kasumi, she stood again and smiled reaching out to touch his arm. "You're a good man Garrus... ah.. Turian.. you know what I mean. But you didn't answer my question."

He wanted to die.

She giggled at him and then turned to the door waiting for it to open. "You don't have to tell me, I think I can guess. Maybe you should tell her, she's back from Illium but will be heading out again soon. I'd hurry if I were you."

Garrus couldn't help but stifle a small smile.

"Oh and by the way, she fell in the shower."

"Huh?" What was this crazy girl talking about?

"Her black eye silly! It must have been very slippery in there." She poked her tongue at him and left the room, the doors closing suddenly. Garrus didn't even notice she was gone, his focus was entirely on the thought of Shepard in the shower; he felt his face go hot.

He liked Kasumi after all.

o.O.o

**Mindoir, oh my!**

_Shadow Broker:_

_I must thank you again for the Intel I received on the colony of Mindoir, however my mark is proving to be more difficult than expected. The whole colony has taken to protect him and they have become a rather inconvenient distraction. The agents you sent, while being extremely useful, have all but fallen against the soldiers guarding my assignment but those that are left have decided to raid the colony and get this business over and done with. I would be grateful if you could send extra reinforcements to assist me in this task, of course credits are not a problem._

_S._

Shepard re-read the message a dozen times, her eyes flickering over a certain word. Mindoir. Mindoir. What did this mean?

She turned away from her personal computer and leaned back in her chair. Her body was so stiff, not even having a shower had eased the pain. What she wouldn't give for a decent massage.

The battle with the Shadow Broker had taken it's toll on her, she'd never seen a Yahg before and was not in a hurry to meet another one. Leaving Liara behind in the lair though still played on her mind. She was the new Shadow Broker, a daring stunt to be sure but Shepard didn't know if she liked that or not. Sure, information was power, but power wasn't always a good thing. She trusted Liara, but something about the way took to the position, they way her eyes danced playfully as she addressed her 'people' worried her. The ship had been full of useful Intel, even some things that Shepard was surprised to see there. The dossiers, though an interesting read- how the hell did he get all that information? However, If it hadn't of been for those files though she never would have found this message, and this message made her body tremble with uncertainty.

She hadn't been back to Mindoir in ten years and only then it was for but a moment to erect a private monument to her mother. The colony had been a disaster zone, the buildings and lands utterly decimated. She felt so naked there, so.. oppressed. Shepard knew that reparations were being made to restart the colonies there, but returning to them was too.. painful. However, those feelings didn't stop her from chartering a course to Mindoir as soon as they arrived back on the Normandy. She had to do something! She had to help them somehow. No matter what feelings she had about the place, she couldn't just let them be eradicated.. again.

Getting up from her seat she suddenly felt very tired. They would arrive at Mindoir in about twenty minutes, but with everything that had happened today all Shepard wanted to do was sleep and repair her lethargic body.

Getting comfortable on her couch her mind started to drift back to the night before. What happened? Her and Garrus, they had a moment, right? She didn't just imagine that whole scene in the shuttle, did she? What was she thinking? She was his Commander! Fraternisation was, oh... well that was too late. Been there – done that, she thought with a dull ache.

She didn't like admitting it to herself, but she had liked it. His closeness, how he looked at her, held her. It felt so foreign, but right at the same time. She'd known Garrus for a while now and never once did he show signs that he had any kind of feelings for her.

"Commander Shepard," EDI came to life behind her, "Garrus is outside and would like to enter. Shall I send him in?"

Shepard almost fell off the couch.

Fuck!

Running to the bathroom she checked her reflection in the mirror and quickly fixed her hair. Meh, she looked... passable she supposed, aside from the shiner. _What was she doing!_

Jumping back onto the couch and sitting as coolly as she could manage, she told EDI to let him in.

Her heart began pounding in her chest immediately upon seeing him. What was wrong with her! She was just with him on the Hagalaz.

"Shepard, I'm not interrupting am I?" He stayed beside the door, hesitant to come in. Shepard could see in the uncertainty written on his face, so she smiled warmly trying to make him feel comfortable.

"No, It's alright, I was just relaxing. It's been quite a day," she patted the couch next to her inviting him to sit down.

"Spirits Shepard, your eye is... impressive." Garrus took the seat next to her and took her by the chin, tilting her head up to get a better look at her eye. "Wow, that must have hurt," he said with a small snicker.

Close.. too close.

She was looking up into his face, they had been here before Shepard remembered. She should move. She should move.. NOW. But as hard as she tried to pull herself from his hand, she couldn't. "Garrus..ah.." Nope, her words weren't going to work right now.

His eyes were looking her over, her eyes, nose, mouth. She could feel his breath against her lips, this was really happening wasn't it. His hand moved from her chin, a single finger trailing down her throat, slow and soft then sliding down her bare shoulder coming to a rest on her arm. She swallowed hard her vision turning into a blur. How did it come to this? They were just talking... but, she wanted this, didn't she?

Garrus tilted towards her, the gap between them mere millimetres when Shepard felt herself finally give in, she couldn't take the tension any more and closing the gap she reached up to his face, taking him in her hand and -

"Ah Commander, we're arriving at Mindoir." Joker cracked over the intercom giving Shepard a fright, and she hurriedly backed away from Garrus suddenly feeling very guilty. Her heart pounded in her throat, heat raising from her neck. Ok, now she needed another shower.

"I ah.. better go Commander," Garrus stood just as quickly and moved towards the door, it opened with a maddening hiss. "I'll be ready to go ashore if you need me," then he disappeared.

Fuck! Fuck!

With massive amounts of frustration, Shepard rummaged through her locker taking out her armour and latching it securely to her body.

"EDI, is the shuttle ready to go?"

"Yes Shepard"

"Good, tell everyone to assemble in the cargo bay, we're all going this time."

Attaching her visor Shepard made her way down to the hold.

Upon landing on the surface, the shock of the planet came back to her. Memories of long ago started to permeate her mind. It looked the same, smelled the same.

Up ahead a vanguard of welcomers bared down on them, guns drawn. Her team was huddled around her, their own weapons drawn, this was going to be a good old fashioned showdown.

"Identify yourself!" one of them, a man, said. He was sporting a rather interesting set of armour and a helmet, Shepard could have sworn it was familiar.

"I'm Commander Shepard, former Spectre." She didn't know why she added that last retort, maybe she hoped it would help lesson the aggravation.

"We outnumber them Commander," Miranda piped up, "we can take them out." She aimed her pistol at the man who had spoken.

Shepard held out her hand and lowered Mirandas gun shaking her head. Something didn't seem right here.

"Sh..Shepard?" the man stuttered.. lowering his own gun, "Maqi?"

The two groups looked at each other in confusion, Shepards brow twitched. No one ever used her name, hardly anyone actually knew it.

"Maq, that is you isn't it?" The man moved forward holstering his gun behind his back and unlatched his helmet pulling it off.

He was human. Tall. Dark Hair, dark eyes, tanned. But nothing about him brought any kind of recollection to her.

"Gods! Maq, it is you!" He came upon her quickly, a large smile on his face and grabbed her around her waist, lifting her off the ground in a giant bear hug. He laughed heartily, spinning her around much to the bemusement of the curious onlookers.

Settling her back on the ground he faced her, still smiling and shook his head, "Shit girl, it's been like.. what? 16 years!"

She didn't know what to say!

"Oh man, don't tell me you've forgotten me?" he looked at her, waiting.. waiting... Shepard was at a loss.

"Shit girl! It's me, Loire! Loire Blakely?"

The name didn't take long to register. His face meant nothing, he'd grown since the last time they met, since they were children. But the name! Oh yes, she remembered the name!

"Oh... my..."

"There it is!" he grabbed her again giving her another big hug. This time, she returned it, grabbing onto him tightly.

"Loire! I.. I thought you..." Were dead? She couldn't say that!

"Yeah, yeah.. I'm sure." He let her go again and pulled her within arms length to get a good look at her before noticing the group of shocked party members behind her. He ignored them.

"Gods Maq, I thought I'd never see you again!"

She was still at a loss for words. First Mindoir, then this! Why did this all seem like a bad dream?

"You're looking pretty good yourself, for a dead woman," he said with a cheeky grin. "Of course, that would have made me a widower, right?"

Shepards eyes flew open when the full weight of what he said came crashing down on her. Shit, that was something she definitely remembered now!

"Widower?" Behind her, Garrus was stepping forward his gun down by his side, but always at the ready, "what is he talking about Shepard?"

Loire eyed the Turian with an obvious smirk and turned his attention back to Shepard, she still couldn't put two words together.

"You haven't forgotten THAT have you Maq?"

Nothing... nudda..

Loire took her hand in his and squeezed, a devilishly handsome smile on his lips, "In another life Maqi, you were meant to be my wife, remember?"

Fuck.. fuck..fuck!


	4. Thanks for being you

_Hello again guys,_

_Sorry it's been so long. I've needed a few days to let my eyes become round again.. (they were going very square staring at this screen). Plus, I had a sudden need to write another story. If you haven't checked it out PLEASE DO! It's a one shot smutty (my first try) FemShepXKolyat. Very steamy :D It's called Sins of the Son if you're interested. _

_Anyway, on to Chapter 4. Again, please rate/comment, LUV YAS!_

_xxMaqi_

* * *

**Thanks for being you**

"_Wife?" Kasumi danced up next to Shepard and gave her a querying glance, "You were engaged?" Shepard shook her head a small knowing smile on her lips. Gods, it all came flooding back, her eyes now alive with the memory. _

"_Shit Loire, I can't believe you remember that!" Putting his hand on her shoulder he grinned down at her. "How could I forget? I claimed you as my wife when we were five years old. If my father hadn't of been called off-world we would be married by now with a tonne of kids nipping at our ankles," he laughed kindly. "Is that so? I didn't realise you had my whole life planned out for me?" _

"_Oh sure Maq, I had it all figured out by the time we were teenagers. First, the wedding, then the kids and then we'd spend the rest of our lives in a small country house back on Earth." Shepard couldn't help but laugh out loud, she could not see herself living as a housewife._

"_Lucky for me then your father did get called off world right?" The statement rang true hanging in the air thickly between them. _

_Yeah, it was lucky. He was only alive now because of that fact._

Garrus popped off a few rounds from his sniper rifle into the trees and smiled as he heard the familiar heavy thud of dead bodies hitting the ground. This was much better. Taking out his frustrations on these idiots was doing him wonders. No thinking, just killing. The mercs hadn't taken long to show themselves, but between the team and himself exterminating these vermin was an easy job. A shot here, biotics there and back in time for tea. Too easy. It did however make him wonder why they were even there at all. The soldiers posted here were well trained and well armed, and their leader.. ugh.. Loire was quite competent. He supposed. This small colony of humans, no more then sixty or so where in capable hands,

Just the thought of the man made him want to puke. The way he dared to hold her, hug her. History aside, he had no right!

"_In another life Maqi, you were meant to be my wife, remember?" _

Reloading his rifle he leaned out from his cover and sighted another two mercs through his scope and watched with glee as he ripped through their armour stopping them dead in their tracks. It made him feel slightly better.

She was going to marry that idiot? Not that it mattered, it was so long ago, but... he hated the thought of someone else contending for her affections. One was bad enough, though thanks to Alenkos' idiocy he was finally out of the picture. But now, there was another! Always.. always someone wanted to get in his way!

Garrus tracked down Shepard. She was hiding behind a stack of containers firing shots at some mercs hidden behind a wall. He was there with her, again! In the days since they arrived Loire never left her side. Fighting, eating, relaxing; he was always there. Talking, laughing, reminiscing! He couldn't remember the last time Shepard had laughed so much.

When it came to him however, Loire steered clear. In fact, he seemed to steer clear from everyone except Shepard. Every now and then he would see the arrogant human staring at Tali or Grunt or any of the non humans and a look of displeasure would come over him. Garrus felt it in his core, he did not like this man at all, and as he watched Loire press into the side of Shepard he had to resist the urge to aim his gun at him. That wouldn't help anything.

A bullet whistled through the air narrowly missing his head and violently shaking him out of his thoughts. He just had enough reaction time to turn and miss the dead body that was falling on top of him, the merc had taken a shot to the forehead and spilled deep red blood at his feet. His heart in his mouth Garrus quickly checked his position for any more infiltrators and after seeing none resumed his place under cover. Spirits, that was close!

"Pay attention Vakarian!" Shepard screamed into his ear piece, "I don't wanna have drag your dead ass out of here!" He ducked his head out and looked towards her position.

"That's just an excuse for you to get your hands on my ass Shepard," he said back to her wiping nervous sweat from his brow. He thanked the Spirits she was such a good aim.

"You wish hot shot," came her cheeky reply.

Listening intently, he spied the woods again through his scope and saw they were empty. "I have negative contacts Shepard," he informed her.

After a few minutes her answer rang through, "So do we, and Miranda is clear with her team. Seems they're gone for now. Let's head back."

**o.O.o**

Handing the data pad to Loire, Shepard twisted the top off her beer and sipped at the cool liquid. It wasn't schnapps, but still; the bitter taste washed over her tongue just the same sending her blood alight. She needed this drink, she needed it bad!

Everything had turned upside down since finding that message on the Hagalaz. First, the threat against the recovering colony on Mindoir and then Loire, her childhood boyfriend! Taking another drink she managed to force the thought of her confusing feelings for Garrus out of her mind. She could only deal with one problem at a time right now.

"Where did you say you got this?" Loire asked, taking a long pull of his own beer.

"I didn't," Shepard replied, "let's just leave it at that alright." He looked at her quizzically, letting the rim of the bottle perch on his bottom lip and smiled. It was the same as she remembered, only more masculine. They were both only 16 when his father took their family back to Earth and saying goodbye to him had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. But he just hugged her, kissed her and smiled his toothy smile and promised that one day he would come back for her. A promise that was never fulfilled, a week later their colony was hit by the Batarians and the rest was history. The years had been good to him though, he had a few more scars and wrinkles now, but he was still that baby faced boy she knew with the soft brown eyes.

"Um, are you checking me out?" he asked with a cocky smile.

Shepard rolled her eyes and took another sip of her beer, "Do you know what this could mean?" she asked bringing the focus back to the data pad, "a mark? Are you guys protecting someone here?"

"We're protecting each other here Maq, against those aliens." The sneer that followed his last words made Shepard take a double look at Loire.

"How do you know they're aliens?"

"Are you kidding me? You saw them for yourselves, they're Blue Suns and a few other freelance mercs. Plus, they're under command of some Turian or another. Regardless, they keep coming at us and we have no idea why."

"You do realise that the Blue Suns recruit humans right?" she asked.

"Then they no longer earn the right to call themselves human," he said without skipping a beat.

Emptying her beer she reached over for another and unscrewed the top. This was all very strange! Liara had not found any additional Intel to help them out and couldn't get a hold of this mysterious 'S' to cancel whatever it was he had planned. Nothing made sense..

"Talking about aliens Maq, you seem to uh.. run with quite a motley crew. I mean, Salarians? Krogan! Turians of all things...!"

"Is that a problem?" she asked her eyes narrowing not sure what it was he was getting at.

"What? No.. no, I just.." fumbling over his words he tipped the last of his brew into his mouth, " are you sure you can trust them Maq? They're aliens after all."

Shepard lowered the bottle and licked her lips, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Looking into Loires eyes she saw something there that worried her. As soft as his eyes were they were.. hollow. How did she miss that before?

"I trust my crew more then I trust anyone Loire, anyone."

"I didn't mean to imply anything Maq, and far be it for me to question anything you do, but I.."

"What?"

Running a nervous hand through his hair he struggled to find the right words. "..we don't really need them here you know. Humanity is quite, uh.. capable of fending for themselves. We've done alright so far."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this," she said with a look of near disgust, " Loire, do you have a problem with my team?"

He shifted in his chair, "not all of them, but.. I don't trust aliens Maq. After what they did here, and Shanxi and the War.. how can you blame me? I finally find you after all these years, ALIVE.. and you're running with them like your own little band of Tenth Street Reds!" Shepard noticed the fire in his eyes immediately. She had heard such xenophobic rants before all over the extranet and galactic news. Their reunion came flooding back and the armour he donned struck a chord of recognition. She remembered where she'd seen the colours and insignia.

"You're.. you're Terra Firma?"

"I'm for humanity Maq, nothing more. Besides, I recognise that symbol too you know and from what I've heard Cerberus is just the same."

"Cerberus can kiss the whitest part of my ass Loire!" Shepard growled slamming her bottle down on the table. "I told them so after I took out that collector base! But this.. you.. I can't.." her words wouldn't come out straight, she was too flustered by what he was saying.

"We came here to help you, are you saying you don't want my help because I have aliens on board?"

"I want your help Maq, I do. But I don't need them.." Shepard stood in frustration and turned her back on Loire raking her fingers through her hair, "I just need you Maq. Just you."

"What the hell are you saying!" Coming up behind her, Loire grabbed Shepard by the elbow spinning her to look at him. His face was hard, tension set in on his jaw, she could see his muscles moving underneath as he clenched his teeth.

"A Turian Maqi! After all they have done to humanity, you have one roaming your ship unchecked. What's to stop him from turning on you?"

"You watch your mouth Blakely, you have no idea who Garrus is or what he's done for the sake of me and my team. I trust him more than anyone Loire, including you!."

"Are you involved with him? Are.. are you fucking him?"

The stinging in her hand didn't register until she saw Loire clasping the side of his face, a small tickle of blood coming from his nose. Where did that come from?

"Jesus fucking Christ Maq! What are you doing?" He cradled his jaw, realigning it and spat out a wad of blood. "You are, aren't you!"

How did it turn like this? We were doing just fine until now. _But he hit a nerve didn't he, _her concious screamed.

"How dare you!" Shepard pulled him to her by his collar and hissed the words into his face, "just who the hell do you think you are!"

"Maq, it's disgusting, a human and a Turian! It's.. unnatural!"

She didn't know whether to smack him in the face again or throw him to the ground and kick him. Rage was building in her so quickly she could feel the small cybernetic implants in her face vibrate with fire.

"You're.. not who I remember," she said in a low tone unclenching her hold on him. Turning her back again she picked up her half drunk bottle of beer and started to walk away," No Loire, I'm not fucking Garrus and even if I was it wouldn't be any of your god damned business!"

"Maqi, please.. I'm only trying to look out for you! You can't trust these.." before he could finish she cast him a vicious look. All the friendship, all the memories of their time, all the happiness they once upon a time shared was drained from her eyes, from her heart.

"It's Shepard, Loire. Commander Shepard, it would do you good to remember that the next time you address me."

All of a sudden, she wanted off this planet.

**o.O.o**

Asshole!

Shepard stood at the galaxy map in the CIC positively seething and clenched her fists, there was no way she staying planet-side while she was this angry. How dare that bastard say those things to her. And TERRA FIRMA? Well, at least that explained why he never spoke to any of her non human crew.

What had happened to him? He used to be so gentle and tolerant. It's not like he was even there on Mindoir when the Batarians attacked, and he sure as hell wasn't there on Shanxi or during the First Contact War. Propaganda was a bitch!

Thinking back to what he'd said about her lieutenant, her heart began to ache. No she wasn't, putting it in Loires terms, _fucking_ Garrus. She'd barely even had the chance to figure out how she felt about him. They'd almost kissed that night in her quarters, but Joker had cut that short. Maybe that was what she needed to do to help her decide what she wanted? The memory of his closeness came back to her and she ghosted a smile. She always felt so calm when he was in her head or anywhere near her. Just his company put her at ease and she could actually, relax.

Looking up she realised she had walked from the bridge to the Main Battery completely unawares. She didn't even remember getting in the elevator.

With a sudden feeling of nervousness coming over her she hesitantly pressed the button and let herself in. Of course Garrus was here, none of the non human crew felt comfortable enough to stay on the planet; obviously they knew something about Loire she didn't. He didn't even turn from his console when he heard the door hiss open.

"Shepard, is everything alright?" he asked tinkering at the keyboard keeping his tone low. Shepard peeked over his shoulder to see what he was doing but couldn't understand any of the figures on his screen. She was definitely not a computer person. He didn't stop what he was doing as she scurried around him finally coming to rest in the corner slumping half-heartedly to the floor. She didn't know what to say but was just content to sit in the room watching him work. She could feel her anger ebb as she watched him, his shoulders hunched while his talons deftly worked the keys.

He could feel her eyes on him, burning a whole in his back enough to set his carapace on fire. He didn't know what she wanted, she didn't answer him when he'd asked her if she was alright. Out of the corner of his eye he could see she was sitting on the floor just staring at him. Well, that didn't make him feel uncomfortable at all!

He wanted to stop what he was doing and turn to her, but he had no idea what to say._ This is so __stupid!_ Put a gun in both their hands and they could chat and joke and rollick around like idiots, but once the armour came off and it was down time it was always so... awkward. Why was she even on the Normandy? The last few days she had taken quite well to staying planet-side with the human colony, not that he missed her company or anything. He still had lots of work to do after all, but she seemed so happy among her own people. Maybe something had happened, he thought.

Trying to refocus his attention back on his algorithms he didn't even notice when a warm hand came to rest on his arm, gently pulling him away from his terminal. Shepard suddenly stood beside him, her face calm and eyes a peaceful glow of emeralds. Swallowing the rampant lump in his throat he opened his mouth to speak, but she hushed him with a single finger and he watched in absolute amazement as she tiptoed and leaned forward, never breaking eye contact, and pressed her soft lips against his hard mouth.

She held herself there for a moment, staring into the eyes of the Turian taking in the feel of his mouth. It was hard, as she knew it would be, but not unpleasant. The look on his face was something to behold that she almost broke the kiss to laugh. Shepard had finally done it. She mulled the thought over in her brain as she sat in the corner. Should she, shouldn't she? Finally deciding to take the plunge and just do it, damn the consequences, and now here she was lip-locked with her lieutenant and she... she really, really liked it.

Garrus was frozen with shock! _What the hell is she doing? _She was.. KISSING him! Her lips were so soft against him. He couldn't tear his gaze from her eyes, was she staring him down? Was she trying to make him back away? She should know him better then that. Not sure if he should or not, but deciding to anyway he brought his arms around to embrace her and relaxed slightly when she didn't object, instead she moved into him closer, pressing her body against his armour. How he HATED his metallic coverings at this very moment!

Being in his arms brought a sigh of contentment to her and she finally let her eyelids shut and delve into the sensation of the kiss. His talons stroked her gently across her lower back and pushing her body against his she felt the cold hard metal of his armour. She could stay like this forever, she thought, she felt so safe and secure wrapped up in him. Opening her lips slightly she let her tongue graze the slit of his mouth, and she felt his mandibles twitch, unsure, but slowly he opened and let her in.

Her tongue felt.. amazing! Soft, wet and strong for a human, he thought. Spirits, what was going on here! Not wanting to hurt Shepard he was very careful about letting her tongue explore his mouth lest she hit the wrong spot and cut herself on his sharp teeth. He felt her tentatively search out his own tongue and giving in he slid it against hers, the feel of them brushing together sending shudders down his entire body.

His tongue was.. different. Longer then a humans, flatter and just slightly forked like a reptiles. But for all it's differences it still sent the same shiver down her spine as a human tongue. Gods! If she didn't stop this now she would literally tear her clothes off right now and demand to be taken on his console! She wasn't quite ready for that.

Pulling herself from his mouth she leaned back to look into his face again. He was still staring at her his intense blue eyes regarding her with wonder. She felt the hotness in her cheeks and averted her gaze to look at the floor, suddenly extremely embarrassed. His arms were still around her, the warmth of embrace was so comforting.

"Uh.. Shepard?" he said, short of breath " I..uh.." what could he say? He was at a total loss for words. This is what he had wanted for the longest time, since he reunited with her on Omega. He never thought it would actually happen, but here she was in his arms.

"Garrus, thank you." she said with a smile, moving into him again and bringing her arms around his shoulders giving him a quick hug.

"What for Shepard?" he asked enjoying the sudden intoxicating scent of her.

"For always being you," she replied planting a series of three small fluttering kisses along his scar.

Moving away from him she headed for the door turning only momentarily to smile and wave goodnight to a very startled and frustrated Turian. Shepard was right, she didn't know when or how or why it had happened, but the feelings were definitely there. She felt something very deep and very real for her lieutenant, and it made her body tingle with a pleasure she had not felt for a very very long time.

Loire was wrong. Dead wrong.


	5. Reunion of Consequences Part 1

_Hello again guys,_

_Sorry it's been so long but this chapter has been hurting me pretty badly. I just want to start off by saying that action scenes are my enemy. I tried my hardest and I hope you like it. I really need to practise them more though._

_But more importantly, I want you to know that, yes this chapter is a little shorter then usual and here's why. The first part of this chapter is all action etc etc.. and the second part was something calmer. I didn't want to put them in on the same page if you know what I mean or else it just seemed like it went on and on and on.. I hope I'm making myself clear, lol. So this is part 1._

_Anyway, part 2 of this chapter WILL be up tomorrow. I've almost finished it, just need to finish the last scene. Please comment and let me no what you think and where you reckon I could improve in the whole battle scene-things. I need help for my next one :P_

_XXX Maqi_

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**Reunion of Consequences**

The sounds of gun fire were ringing in the air.

Before the shuttle had even landed on the surface Shepard could hear the unmistakeable popping of rifles and see large columns of smoke spilling from the center of the small colony.

"What the hell is happening down there?" Shepard tried to look in the distance, the colony hub was only a few hundred meters from their landing zone, but she couldn't see for all the smoke.

"They're being attacked Commander," Miranda said leaning over Shepards shoulder to get a better look out of the window, "we have to get down there." She banged on the cockpit window telling the pilot to get in closer.

Shepard looked on in shock. _Why hadn't they contacted them? Why didn't they radio for help? _

Taking her pistol in her hand Shepard rose to her feet, shouting ordersto her crew, "Tali, Grunt, check your gear you're coming with me. Miranda, I want you to take a small group and flank the eastern side. Garrus, take Thane and head up. I need you guys to hunker down and cover us."

She couldn't believe Loire hadn't come to her, what was he playing at? Rechecking her own equipment she unlatched the shuttle door and threw it up as they came in to land.

Confirming their orders the shuttle touched down just outside the colony. Turning to them before they parted ways she pulled Garrus and Mordin aside, her face grim. "Mordin, take Kasumi and head to the infirmary down the western edge. If there are people injured they're going to need help."

"Of course Shepard," he spoke quickly, "slight hesitation. Humans here are afraid of aliens. Maybe won't except help?" Well, she knew that was coming. "If they won't accept your help, MAKE THEM! Their prejudices be damned!" He nodded curtly and with Kasumi at his side headed off in the direction of the infirmary.

"Garrus, you and Thane need to give us suppressing fire from above. I don't know what the hell is going on here, but it's clear the mercs have finally pulled finger and decided to come out guns blazing."

Garrus nodded his head and gripped at his sniper rifle, "Not a problem Shepard, we'll get it done." As he turned to leave he noticed her hand was on his arm grasping tightly. The look on her face made his mandibles twitch, worried. "Shepard?"

She opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it, and withdrawing her hand she gave him a sudden push and smiled. "Watch your ass Vakarian, don't get dead," she said simply.

With Tali and Grunt at her side she delved into the midst of the colony.

**o.O.o**

There was fire and smoke everywhere making it hard to breathe. The mercs had all but taken the small community, burning everything in their wake. The main living quarters were ablaze sending any surviving civilians into a frenzy, trying to find cover. The ground beneath them was full of debris; discarded weapons, burnt out clips, chunks of buildings and... bodies. The sight brought back the horrible memories from her childhood.

As they headed up the ridge shots came raining down on them. Shepard jumped to the side, throwing herself into a ditch, trying to dig herself in; flatten herself as much as she could against the rocky ground. From behind her she heard Tali scream _sniper_, and concentrating on the houses in front she spotted a silhouette in the far left window. Not able to get a clear shot with her pistol she felt the pulsing flow of her biotics erupt from her core and let loose with incredible force, lifting the ensconced merc up and out the window in full view of Grunts rifle.

The sniper taken care of Shepards only thought was to get in closer. She counted three mercs still at higher positions in addition to the six on the ground and deciding to make a run for it she charged her shields and hoped for the best ducking and diving until she hit the relative safety of a row of low lined container boxes.

She took stock of her position. Grunt was to her far left, his large bulk ducked impossible low for his size, and firing his Vindicator into a small group of three Loki Mechs that were advancing on him. Shepard saw the manic grin on his face, he was definitely enjoying himself. Tali was on her right and having an easier time with a Blue Suns human, shooting him in the head, before taking off to the next available cover to began shooting again. These bastards had really come at them with a full force.

Her earpiece crackled and relief washed over her as Garrus' voice came through.

"Shepard, how you holding up?"

Finishing off a trooper she returned to cover, reloaded her weapon and touched her hand to her radio. "We have multiple contacts down here. You two alright?"

"We're in a good position here, we can see almost the entire colony. I have you in my sights."

Bullets were ricocheting off the container and in the all too brief moment of silence, Shepard came out of cover and using her biotics again threw the annoying merc into the air before riddling him with bullets of her own.

"Little help here Garrus if you wouldn't mind," she said tensely, retaking cover. "The ground units aren't a problem, but I need those on the upper levels taken out. Can you do it?"

"Definitely" came his smooth reply, and before Shepard had a chance to tell him where they were she heard a swoosh in the air and one of mercs in the second storey window came crashing to the ground. "That's one."

"Keep picking them off, I'm going to move up."

Checking her flanks Shepard leaped over the containers and ran, her team mates right behind her. Rushing past broken machinery and dead bodies she spied the colonies focal point, a large outpost Loire used to station his soldiers and headed straight for it. Barking at her crew she ordered them to take cover inside while she provided suppressing fire and after seeing they were safe she boosted her geth shields and turned to join them, but as she did so her blood suddenly ran cold. She could hear the unmistakeable high pitched screech as a missile round hit the ground at her feet, propelling her in the air and slamming her against the wall of the outpost, her teeth clamping down hard on her tongue sending the rusty tang of blood awash in her mouth. The ringing in her ears was instant , every noise around her became a low muffled buzz, her vision nothing but a slur of colours. As she hit the ground Shepard rolled onto her stomach and tried to stand. She could faintly hear what sounded like someone calling her name, and as the ringing started to subside Garrus was screaming at her through her earpiece to get up. Grunt was suddenly beside her, wrapping his arm around hers and pulling her to her feet; dragging her in through the door of the guards station and dumping her down on the floor. Shaking her head, trying to get her thoughts together, the room finally came into focus. They were safe in here, for the time being, and looking around she realised they were not alone. A young man, most likely one of Loires soldiers, was huddled in the corner, his shotgun resting on his lap.

Coming to her knees Shepard scooted over to him, shaking him out of the trance he seemed to be in and gave him a once over. Satisfied he wasn't injured she sat down in front of him.

"What's your name soldier," she asked him calmly, trying to keep him focused.

"B...Blithe ma'am, Syre Blithe." Shepard noticed the glint in his eye, his body might not be injured, but he wasn't.. all there.

"Where's Loire, Blithe? Where is he?"

The question must have struck a nerve in the boy and he covered his ears with both hands and shook his head vigorously. Shepard grabbed his arms and pinned them to his sides, asking him once again where his leader was. He was scared and hysterical.

"He left us.. went after the Turian.. He left us.. ran away!" Shepards eyes grew wide, _he did what?_

"Turian? Who is he Blithe? Hey.. stay with me!" He began to shake, wrapping his arms tightly around his body. "He brought the mercs, he leads them. He takes the people and.. and.. makes them...different." _Different?_

"Where did they go, Blithe? Which way?" But it was too late, Blithe was back in his trance, shrouded in his own fear muttering to himself something Shepard couldn't understand.

Her earpiece came alive and Garrus was suddenly shouting at her. "Shepard! Are you alright? Talk to me woman!"

"Garrus? Have you seen Loire anywhere?"

"What? No I haven't. Is that really important?"

Shepard didn't reply, instead she frantically got to her feet and began searching the room for anything to help them. A few medigel packs, a stack of grenades but no clips. Checking her gun her heart sank, she only had half a clip left. She had to find Loire and this mysterious Turian. There was no way he would just leave the human colony undefended after all he believed in? Even though they had fought, he wouldn't _DO THIS!_

"Damn it Shepard, answer me!"

"Garrus, I need you to find Loire, he went after the leader of the mercs."

"Fine, fine but are you alright? I just saw you get dusted by a damn missile!"

Despite the chaos Shepard felt herself grin, "I'm ok Vakarian, but do me a favour and kill that son of a bitch before I head back out there."

Garrus' strained laugh came through clearly, "All ready taken care of Shepard."

**o.O.o**

Garrus was pressed impossibly close to the side of Thane as they both shared the same space at the window of the highest building they could find, the colonies Radio Tower. The bodies of the two mercs they had killed to get in here were still slumped in the corner.

He let out the breath he had been holding for what seemed like an eternity. The whole thing happened so fast he didn't even have time to warn her, just watch helplessly as she was tossed around like a rag doll and pray that she was still alive. He'd just about jumped out of the window before Thane had pulled him back in and took out the damned merc with a single shot. He'd have to remember to thank him after this was all over.

Looking through his scope he saw Shepard and her team leave the safety of the station and continue to push north. She didn't come away from that little stunt completely unharmed. She had a noticeable limp and the armour at her left shin was damaged quite severely. He felt his jaw tighten, _ok my ass!_, he thought unamused. Canvassing the area he couldn't see Loire anywhere. Where had that little moron gone?

A sudden explosion rocked Garrus from his searching and he focused back on Shepard. She was pinned down behind a fence by.. _oh Spirits!_

"Shepard, you have a Heavy Mech on your tail!" he warned her.

"Can you take it out?"

Switching out his concussive shots for APA he lined the Mech in his sights and steadying his breath he pulled the trigger. The round barely touched the behemoths shields. _Shit!_

"You need to get those shields down Shepard, I can't do it from here I'm too..." his words trailed into silence. Raising the scope to his eye again he focused on the area behind the Mech. He could see someone standing there amidst the hail of gun fire and smoke, weapon in hand and shouting something to the mercs around him. He looked flustered, panicked; almost terrified. Adjusting the sights he focused on his face. He was the leader of the mercs; a Turian.

Garrus' mouth almost hit the ground, "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

**o.O.o**

Shepard rolled out quickly from behind her cover and gave the Mech a few short bursts from her pistol. Without any effective tactics for the beast all they could do was whittle down it's shields enough for Garrus to take out its armour but he had suddenly gone quiet on his end and trying to contact him was proving futile.

Ducking behind cover again the Mech unleashed a torrent of bullets, shredding almost everything it touched in mere moments, all they could do was run and hide again and again.

"Shields almost gone Shepard," Tali spoke to her through her radio, "I'm going to try and distract it while we get it's armour down!"

"Lets make this quick then, I'm almost out of ammo here!"

As Tali released her drone Shepard shouted through her radio at Garrus, but there was still no reply from him. Cursing under her breath she fired the last of her rounds into the Mech finally taking down it's shield and giving Grunt the go ahead to pull out his incendiaries when a figure caught her attention. Shepard couldn't believe her luck.

"I have him!" she shouted, "the merc leader, 12'o'clock!"

She saw the Turian turn and start running forcing Shepard to leave her two team mates and chase him down. She had to stop him, she had to find Loire! He was quick but she was quicker and in one final pounce she was on his back dragging him roughly to the ground. Sticking her knee at the base of his spine she grabbed his fringe and pulled his head back.

Her eyes grew wide with disbelief and the only thing she could think of was Garrus. _This is why he went silent all of a sudden! This is why he wouldn't answer me!_ She scrambled backwards and pulled her gun, albeit empty, and aimed it at the Turians head.

"S..Sidonis?"

As he turned he brandished his own weapon, arm outstretched and fired a single shot. Shepard heard the tell tale whistle as the bullet grazed past her head, barely scratching her cheek and disappeared behind her landing with a tinny thud in the Heavy Mechs head. It started to shake violently, it's mechanical body coughing and spluttering, a high pitched whine emanating from deep within it. Realisation dawned on her; it was going to explode.

Scrambling to his feet Sidonis managed to kick Shepards legs out from under her and in an instant he was on top of her, swiping at her throat with sharp talons. She felt the sting immediately, felt the rush of blood as it pooled at the surface and dripped down her neck. Sidonis jumped up, flaring his mandibles in a wicked grin and was suddenly gone.

Bringing her hands to her throat Shepard tried to staunch the bleeding and rolled onto her side in time to see the Heavy Mech heave a final jerk before being torn asunder only a few meters away from her. With no other option she tried to restore her shields and curled herself into a ball to protect her face before a curtain of shrapnel and metal enveloped her.


	6. Reunion of Consequences Part 2

_Hi guys,_

_Well, here is part 2 that I promised. It was meant to be a calmer and more personal account hence why I broke the chapter up into 2 parts. _

_I hope you like it. I do :D_

_Please comment. It's the polite thing to do :P Plus, I'll love ya forever if you do._

_XXX Maqi_

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_**Reunion of Consequences**_

_**Part 2**_

"_Get them off, now!"_

"_Keelah, there is so much.. blood.."_

"_Get the medigel..hold on Shepard, please.."_

"_No! Don't close your eyes. Stay with me, focus on me!"_

"_Hold there, I'm going to pull it out. Where's Mordin?"_

"_No Si.. Shepard, open your eyes, look at me!"_

The world was empty. Silent. Cold. The urge to drift off and sleep was too inviting, but every time she would let go an anxious voice would call to her, beckon her to come back; to stay awake. She was so incredibly tired. She _wanted_ to go, let herself fall into the black inkiness of sweet repose where she could rest; really truly rest. It was so easy for her to give up right now, let her heavy body descend into the darkness. She was happy here. There was... peace. No fighting, no wounds, no hurt or pain. No mistakes. No wrong decisions. No hate. No betrayal. Her eyes burned with tears and suddenly there was that voice again pulling her back from the abyss.

_Open your eyes Shepard._

…..No.. No I don't want to..

_Please Shepard, open your eyes._

The feel of warmth in her hair. A hand clutching tightly at her own. Heat rushing through her, relief, reprieve. Then the sound of her own voice drumming in her head; strong, powerful and concise. _GET UP!_

It was like being pulled backwards through a tunnel and suddenly her eyes were open, the glaring light invading her, making her twist, squirm and then grit her teeth and scream as a volt of cutting pain shot through her entire body. The room was spinning, disorientating. Sounds came rushing to her ears. Voices, the clang of metal, shuffling, scraping. Piece by piece the world came back into view, the blurry fringes of her vision becoming clearer, more crisp and all at once she was _aware._

"Shepard?" Thanes voice was low, laden with concern as he placed his hand on her forehead gently. She tried to speak but her tongue was too thick in her mouth.

"Stop moving Shepard," he cautioned, "let your wounds set. You've been hit quite badly."

Despite his warning her hand flew up to her throat and caressed the long tender scar there. It was smeared in the thick grey muck of medigel, but it was closed albeit still extremely sore.

"You got lucky there," Thane said absent-mindedly stroking her hair and running his thumb lightly against her temple, " he only got you with one claw but missed your major vein. It was a close call nonetheless. Your other wounds, however, were a bit more serious."

Looking down on herself Shepard realised she was in her underwear. Her armour had been stripped and thrown carelessly to the side in what now looked liked a pile of junk and scrap. Her white cotton undershirt and shorts were covered in blood and laying in a shredded mess at her feet, and the synthetic fibers of her skin weave had been torn from her waist, arms and legs. She was literally covered in the sticky mess of medigel congealed with pools of dark blood, she thought she was going to be sick. Her right hip caught her attention, the skin there was jagged and swollen as a large piece of shrapnel protruded from it, buried deep in her tissue and bone. She was riddled with small welts and cuts from head to toe.

"We've taken care of most of the big wounds, there is just one to go. If it hadn't of been for your shields Shepard, you would not be alive."

Mordin appeared beside him, his hands covered in the slick of her blood. He looked grave, tired; and moving to her waist he gave Thane a knowing glance.

"Hold her still. This.. will hurt."

Thane moved onto the table, sat beside her and held her down; pushing with gentle force against her shoulders.

"Concentrate on me Shepard, don't turn away."

Looking at Thane she tried to lose herself in his eyes, bracing for the moment that was coming, but as Mordin sharply yanked the hunk of embedded metal from her raw skin a crushing blackness overwhelmed her. The pain spread through her body like liquid fire making her scream and jolt and buck violently until she felt herself slip back into the blissful well of unconsciousness.

**o.O.o**

Rousing from sleep Shepard could feel a hand in hers. It was warm and soft but gripped her so tightly she thought her fingers were going to fall off. The pain in her body was gone, or more like numbed enough she could move without flinching. Opening her eyes she was met by the deepness of Thanes gaze. A small smile spread across his lips.

"Welcome back Shepard," he said with obvious relief.

With a tacky mouth and dried lips Shepard still found it difficult to speak, but she forced the words to come. "How long have I been out?"

"A day or two," he said quietly slowly shaking his head, "but it could have been much, much longer."

She didn't doubt that at all. "Yeah, no kidding." Trying to sit up she could see she was covered in a white sheet though sporadic stains of blood were still evident, she felt queezy. Shepard never did like the sight of her own blood. She looked around the tiny room and saw they were alone. "Uhh.., where's Garrus?" she asked.

"He is...outside. He's.."

"Pissed, right?" Deciding to give up on trying to sit she lay back down and covered her face with her arm, ashamed. "I fucked up Thane! This whole thing, it's all my fault!"

"No Shepard, it's not. Don't even think that for a moment." he assured her, squeezing her hand tighter.

"It was Sidonis! He's behind these mercs! Gods, if I... if I had just let Garrus.." She thought back to the Citadel and how she talked him out of assassinating Sidonis. A small part of her had felt for him that day, thought he had paid enough. And when the news came that he had given himself up, that was all she could of hoped for. But this? No.. not this! She should have let Garrus kill him! She'd failed him in the biggest way.

"Shepard, listen to me. This is not something you could of predicted would happen. We all make our own decisions. You made yours when you pleaded with Garrus not to kill Sidonis because you have a good and kind heart. Don't ever doubt your decision making. You believe in second chances, Shepard. That is who I have come to know and... respect."

"Yes, but look what's come of it! He must... he must hate me!"

"He's angry, yes, but not at you. Not really. I think he's more angry with himself. When he saw Sidonis up in the radio tower he took off so quickly I didn't have a chance to stop him. I was so busy covering Miss Lawson that I..." he sighed, a sombre look in his eyes as he let his gaze roam over her, "..I'm at fault here too."

She could feel his hand in hers tremble, gripping onto her for dear life, then he slowly lowered his head bringing her entwined fingers to his lips and kissed them. "I do not know what I would have done if anything had happened to you Shepard, if you had...died."

She felt the cool touch of his lips and the whisper of his breath against her skin, sending small rivets of electricity down her back and shivered. The look on his face, as much as he tried to hide it, was marred in anguish "Thane, there's nothing you could of done. I'm fine, really."

"Look," he said, returning his focus to her, "sometimes we make choices that affect us right away and sometimes... well sometimes you wish you had made them a long time ago because now it's too late. Those are the choices that are hardest to bare, but we must. Shepard, I care for you a great deal, perhaps...more then what is acceptable under, such various circumstances. My only wish is to see you happy but more preferably, alive."

Shepard couldn't help but think they weren't talking about Sidonis any more. She was at a loss for words but as she opened her mouth to reply the door behind them opened with a start and Garrus was suddenly there, leaning against the door frame. Thane stood and released her hand, laying it gently beside her.

"I'll let you two talk," he said giving her a tired smile, "but no sudden movements, if you tear your stitches Mordin will be very upset." He walked out silently but not before giving Garrus a sidewards glance and a slight nod of the head.

**o.O.o**

Garrus moved hesitantly from the door, not sure just what he had walked in on and stopped at the bench opposite the operating table Shepard was laying on. She looked awful. The extent of her injuries had been worse then he imagined. Mordin had filled him in on what had happened, how Sidonis had attacked her and then the Mech blowing up practically in her face. Her fading black eye was the least of her problems. He was surprised as much as anyone to see she was still alive. His gaze lowered to her throat and he felt his heart sink. The scar was glaringly red and vicious looking. It would fade eventually, so Mordin said, but it would always be there. He clenched his fists, he was going to murder Sidonis.

"Are you going to talk to me, or just stare?" Her voice brought him out of his thoughts and he meet Shepards eyes.

"I'm relieved to see you're still alive."

"O..k.. not quite what I was expecting to hear from you. You didn't cry I hope, that wouldn't be very manly now," she said mockingly, trying to ease the obvious tension. When Garrus didn't respond she opened her mouth to speak again, but he interrupted her with a wave of his hand.

"Shepard, don't.." He was not in the mood for jokes, he was too angry; too frustrated. Turning his back, he leaned against the bench noticing all of the still bloodied instruments and sighed.

Suitably chastised she let her head fall back against the hard table and stared at the ceiling. This was hard. _Admitting_ this was _hard! _What could she say that they both didn't already know.

"Garrus, I.."

"It was him, Shepard," he said quickly, cutting her off again, "Sidonis!"

"I know that, by why? Why is he here?"

"What does it matter!" he swiped his hand across the bench sending the medical equipment clattering to the floor making Shepard jump.

"Garrus, calm down! Please, come over here. Sit with me.. TALK TO ME!" Forcing herself to sit up she ignored the thumping pain in her body and let her bare feet touch the floor. The sudden movement made her head spin.

"Dammit Shepard! I should of killed him when I had the chance back on the Citadel."

She had no comeback. He was dead right. As much as Thanes words had made sense to her, she couldn't stand to see Garrus like this. She really had fucked up and nothing she could say would change that.

"You shouldn't of stopped me!"

_No, I shouldn't of..._

"I should of killed him then!"

_Yes, you should of..._

"Look at what he's done here! I could of stopped all of this before it even started!

"I KNOW...I KNOW!," she screamed, finally finding her voice, "I'm sorry! Garrus.. I'm so..."

"Sorry? You're sorry?," he turned to face her, his eyes alive with fury. He didn't want to get too close, he didn't want to smell her, feel her, see her as _his Shepard _and that only fueled him, made him even more angry. "If you hadn't of made me think twice, turned me... soft! Made me trust you!" He turned his back on her again and struck the bench with such a force it bent the metal.

The sting of tears welled in Shepards eyes, was she really hearing this? Is this what she had done to him? His glare had been unmistakable and it made Shepards core cold with remorse. She tried to take a step off the table but putting weight on her hips made the rending pain shoot down her legs. She sucked in a deep breath and tried again.

"I only stuck around," he continued, a much calmer albeit depressed edge to his voice, "to make sure you were all right. I'm going to find him and make sure I kill him this time."

She watched him walk towards the door and panic spread through her. "Garrus, STOP! You can't go out there alone!"

"This is a personal matter Shepard," he said over his shoulder, "I have to... right this somehow."

"Just wait!" she took a cautious step down from the table, the pain immediate, "I'll come with you! I'll help you, you know I will!"

He turned to face her again and frowned, his fringe raising slightly, "NO! I can't have you around me Shepard! I can't have you anywhere near me.." Returning to the door he let his talon fall on it's handle, giving it a tight twist.

"Garrus! Don't!" she took another step, her hands still gripping onto the side of the table to hold her up. Tears were suddenly sliding down her grazed cheeks, "don't turn your back on me..."

But he was already stepping through the door. She let go of the table and took yet another step, biting back the burning agony when she felt the wound at her hip split; the surge of blood trickle effortlessly over her underwear and down her thigh.

"God damn it Vakarian!" she screamed, falling in a crumpled heap to her knees, "please.. don't leave me.."

He stopped for a brief moment only to turn his head once more, a look of pure loss; despair on his face.

"I'm... sorry Shepard."

Then he was gone.

She didn't hear the door close, or open again. She didn't hear or feel anything.

Not the hands on her, lifting her up from the floor.

Not the sudden wash of drugs in her system to calm her down.

Not the voices that spoke to her with concern telling her to stop thrashing and fighting.

All she could see was _him_.

All she could feel was _him_.

And yet, he didn't want her.

Didn't need her.

Her tears would not give her comfort.

Garrus was gone, and a sinking; sickening feeling in her gut told her she might never see him again.


	7. Calm before the Storm

_Hey fanfictioneers,_

_Finally Chapter 6 is here :D __I'd like to thank all of those that have fav'd this fanfic. It makes me all squishy inside that you actually care about my little story._

_Also, I know the spacer Shepards mother is Hannah, but for the sake of my story my colonist mother is Hannah too, encase anyone asks :P_

_On a side note, the inscription I put on Hannah Shepards gravestone is actually from my own mums gravestone. I'm not sure where my sister got it from, but I think it's beautiful and simple. (much luv mama!)_

_Why oh why do I let bad things happen to my sweet little Turian? Sigh..._

_Please comment, I'd really appreciate it. MWAH!_

_Xxx Maqi_

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**Calm before the Storm**

Shepard was locked in her room on the top floor of the Normandy, and horribly bored! Between Dr. Chakwas and Miranda always checking up on her and Grunt standing guard at the door, she was losing her mind.

After an intense day in the medical lab attending to her torn wounds she was finally able to recover in the comfort of her own bed. But instead of recovering, Shepard would always find herself wondering the halls of the ship only to end up sitting in the dark corner of the main battery thinking about the argument the two of them had. Every time she was forcefully escorted to her room, she would always return; again and again, leading to- of course- the locked door, Grunt and the double mint twins. It had been two days since Garrus left her and the team, and every second was torture.

The merc activity on Mindoir was finally over and the colony was slowly pulling themselves together. Miranda had really stepped up to the plate and taken charge of the clean up on the surface. Not something Shepard thought she'd ever volunteer to do. As moody and arrogant as she could be sometimes, Shepard admired the genetic beauty more then she'd let on. But as her team were busy with the colony and rounding up any remaining mercs, she was locked in her sterile quarters and couldn't do anything but _think_. If it hadn't of been for Thane and the emails he sent her, Shepard would be tearing down the walls.

Her eyes skimmed the latest message from him, a small grin tugging at her lips.

_Shepard,_

_Why are you out of bed? You can not heal if you're sitting at your computer. Don't make me come up there, or worse yet; send Miss Chambers._

_Sleep... NOW._

_Thane._

His words from earlier came back to her. _He cared for her? In what way?_ Apparently Thane had stayed at her side throughout the whole ordeal on Mindoir, helping Mordin patch her up before finally carrying her to the Normandy to let Dr. Chakwas take over. If it hadn't of been for his company Shepard would be stir crazy by now. She owed him a lot. But.. she didn't no if she could give Thane what he wanted, whatever _that_ might be.

Clicking at the keys, Shepard replied.

_Krios,_

_If you want me to go to bed, MAKE ME! I'm bored! And if you send Kelly up here I will put you at the top of my hit list when I finally get out of here assassin! Don't test me.._

_annoyed and trigger happy._

A knock at the door roused Shepard from her pc, so after pressing 'send' she switched off the monitor and turned to face the door just as Dr. Chakwas entered.

"Oh, typical Commander," the Dr said with a sly smile, "can you not lay down for 1 whole day?" Coming to the back of her chair, Chakwas leaned forward and petted Shepard on the head with her hand. Shepard smiled, ever since their first mission against Saren, her and the Dr had become close, their relationship almost mother/daughter like. She was the only one that could do such childish things to Shepard, and live to tell the tale.

"Doc, I'm fine, really! See?" She jumped up from her seat and lifted her tee-shirt showing the Dr. the now faint scars of the shrapnel wounds. Her slash against the throat had healed nicely too, it wasn't as red, but the scar was noticeable. A permanent memento of her time back on her home planet. She could deal with it. Some men liked women with scars. Of course, all those men were Krogan. _Or Turian_, her mind reeled..

"Yes yes Shepard, I can see you're going mad in here," Chakwas said, leaning against the desk and crossing her arms, "but you have to take it easy. Your wounds might be healed on the outside, but you still have internal injuries to worry about. That means NO going ground-side." Her look was firm, like she was trying to mentally project her real meaning behind her words.

Shepard knew exactly what she meant. No going ground-side was code for, _don't even think of going after Garrus right now or you'll be in big trouble! _Darn doctor knew her much too well. She was right though, she wanted badly to get back on the surface, but not only to find Garrus. She had other business there. Someone else she wanted to see, but she didn't want to tell her anyone that just yet.

"Doc, I have to. Garrus is a part of our team and as a team we help each other. I screwed up before, but I won't this time."

"He left us Commander. Doesn't that bother you?" She tried not to feel the stab that was silently puncturing her insides, _of course it bothered her!_ It pissed her off! Made her so incredibly angry that she wanted to break... _something! _

"I'm waiting..." the Dr. said, her grin getting wider. The cheeky woman obviously knew something about something? Why did Shepard suddenly think everyone on this darn ship was talking about her?

"Doc, I have to find Garrus. I have to," her gaze fell to the floor, too embarrassed to face her friend. Again she found the doctors hand on the top of her head, petting her gently, "I.. care.. about him."

She waited for the doctors reaction, sure it was going to be... well, not the best. But to her surprise Dr Chakwas only nodded her head.

"I'm not surprised Commander, I could see this coming from a mile away. Ever since the SR1"

"You could? Well, you could of told ME about it! I've been tearing my hair out the last few weeks trying to figure out this... mess I've gotten myself into." Slightly frustrated Shepard ran her hands through her hair sighed, "but, I want to go back down there for a different reason this time around. I want to find Garrus, and I'm sorry but not even you are going to be able to stop me when that time comes. But right now there is something else I want to take of. I would... really appreciate it if you made this easy for me and let me go." The Dr just simply nodded her head, though Shepard didn't actually know if that meant it was ok.

"I understand how you feel Commander, love is a tricky thing." Shepard felt her cheeks go red. Yep, she definitely knew something. Damn it! "You have to promise me something though Shepard, promise me you won't go after him just yet. Give it another day, just one more."

Shepard smiled, "I'm not going to have to pull rank on you, am I doc?" Dr Chakwas laughed heartily as she headed back towards the door.

"If you can't keep the promise, then yes. One day Commander, please? Go, but come back quickly. Then we can sort out a rescue mission tomorrow. Promise me Commander."

The look on her face was purely conniving, and Shepard loved it. She loved how the older woman could make her look at herself and see when she was being difficult, she couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Fine doc, I promise. I'll go and come back. No fighting.. no shooting up the place. Happy?"

"Very," stepping through the door Dr. Chakwas dismissed Grunt from his sentry and they both watched him leave with a sigh of relief and impatience. Turning back to Shepard she smiled again.

"Thanks Shepard. Just, take it easy. Oh, and by the way; I'm not too clued up on interspecies... _relations_... so it's probably best if you speak to Dr. Solus. We wouldn't want anything... untoward, happening to you after all of this over."

With the Drs' words hanging in the air, she left leaving Shepard planted in place, mouth almost touching the floor and red as a beetroot.

**o.O.o**

_Hannah Shepard_

_No longer in our lives to share_

_But in our hearts you're always there_

_Step softly, a dream lies buried here._

Shepard reread the epitaph again and sighed, wiping away the grime that years of neglect had let build up. The monument was a simple structure, a small obelisk made of polished onyx and cheap gold-like leaf edging. It was all she could afford at the time, but she loved it nonetheless. This was all she had left of her mother, well... this and her memories.

"Hey mum, it's me," lowering to her knees she placed the demael flowers lazily across the base of the stone and smiled, "sorry it's been so long."

Staring at the gravestone her thoughts were suddenly back in her childhood, years before the Batarians were ever a threat. This clearing was their most favourite place on Mindoir, far from the hustle and bustle of the colony; a place where they could just lay on the thick grass, stare at the sky and dream about what was out there. Sometimes they would bring a small snack, usually just bread and fruit, and they'd stay here the whole day; and when the evening came her mother would take her in her arms and together they'd sit at the edge of the cliff and watch the sunset, marvelling at the changing hues of reds and yellows. They were such simple and easy times. A weak smile played on Shepards lips, _Gods she missed her._

The sound of footsteps behind her brought Shepard out of her memories, and she turned to face the intruder, her eyebrow raising as Thane came into view.

"That's unlike you Krios, giving yourself away like that."

"Very much intentional Shepard," he said calmly, coming up beside her, "I didn't want to scare you." His eyes went down to the small stone and he smiled, "This is where your mother is laid to rest?"

"Yeah, this was our favourite spot. It was the perfect place to bury her ashes. From here she can look out over the cliff and see the entire colony," she took Thanes hand in hers and pulled him towards the edge. The view was amazing. Vast mountain ranges lined with sombre forests, sweeping fields, lakes and of course the small colony nestled comfortably amidst it all that from this height looked like a small buzzing mound of ants. She loved it here.. _had _loved it here. Again she felt herself drifting into her memories as the first receding rays of the sun darkened the horizon.

"Shepard? Are you alright?"

_Where did that tear come from?_

"Sorry, I didn't mean... it's stupid." Laughing nervously she wiped the tear from her cheek, flushed with embarrassment._ Every damn time, _she thought.

"Tell me about her."

Shepard met Thanes eyes and smiled. Wanting to be comfortable she dropped to the ground, pulling the drell with her so they could sit beside each other with their legs hanging over the cliff

"Well," she started, "she was beautiful and smart. Kind to everyone, very popular among the other colonist you know. She would always be there to help when ever someone asked, even if it meant she would go without something," she smiled wide, a glint in her eyes as the memories came upon her over and over. "I remember she grounded me once for staying out late one night with Loire. Man, she was so angry I thought she'd never let me out of the house again." The thought of Loire made her sigh inwardly, but she pushed it aside, "She was everything a girl could want in a mum."

Again without realising it new tears were suddenly hot on her cheeks. Every time she thought about her mother the memories always led to _that day._ Thanes hand quickly clamped over her own and squeezed her tightly, letting her know he was there.

"I'm sorry Shepard, I should not have.."

"It's alright," she said, cutting him off, "really." Taking a deep breath she continued, letting her tears fall if they so pleased.

"When the slavers came she grabbed me from my bedroom and locked me in the storage unit under the stairs. Trapped inside there I heard them coming inside the house. Smashing things, breaking windows; you know, that kind of thing. Then the screaming started. Men, women... children; it didn't matter how much they pleaded or yelled or tried to get away. But above all the screaming and the noise and gunfire I heard _her." _Shepards tears were now thick and heavy, falling from reddened eyes like liquid lead. " All I could do was press myself against the furthest corner of the small alcove and cover my ears to block it out. But.. but what I really wanted to do was help her! I really did! Everything within me wanted to bust down the door and help her, even if it meant I died at least it was with her. But I... couldn't. I couldn't move. I just sat there listening to her scream and scream until... until..." She couldn't go on. The memory of her mothers final tormented moments were echoing in her head, and she finally let go of her pride and broke down. Not even when her mother died did Shepard let herself fall to pieces, always keeping the stoic facade. She was strong! She was _a Shepard!_ But now, with her shoulders shuddering as the deep sobs racked through her she finally felt.. released.

Thanes arms were immediately around her, pulling her as close into the side of him as he could, shushing her softly, his lips resting in the mess of her hair. "You were a child," he said, "there was nothing you could of done. Your mother did what she did to protect you, take solace in that Shepard, she loved you."

She held onto him tightly, letting the motions of her weeping overcome her, burying her head in warmth of is chest when Thane brought his hand to her face and lifted her chin to meet his gaze, allowing him to wipe the tears from her sodden cheeks.

"Shepard, I know you have probably heard it all before, but your mother did the right thing. If it had not of been for her sacrifice, you would not be alive. You would not of joined the Alliance, defeated Saren and the Collectors, and you definitely wouldn't be here; letting me look at you, or hold you." Wiping the last of her tears Thane let his thumb skim lightly along her bottom lip. A fire went through Shepard like never before, excitement mixed with...panic.

"Thane, I.. can't..," but he was shushing her again, pressing his forefinger against her mouth, his gaze never faltering.

"Shepard, will you hear my confession?" Her heart stopped, no.. froze. She wanted to move away, but his grip on her was tight, commanding. Whatever he wanted to say, he wanted to make sure he said it to her face.

Without waiting for her answer Thane began to speak, his eyes never leaving hers. "I am, aware of your relationship with Garrus, but I still feel I have to speak my mind. When you were almost killed by Sidonis I thought I would never see you again. Would never hear your voice, or smell your scent, see you smile. It, made me feel something that had long been dead since... Irikah. But.." he paused, letting the right words form before hesitantly speaking again, "I do not no if what I feel is.. love Shepard. I do not know.. if I am in love with you, but I feel very strongly for you. I want you to know that I will do anything you ask, I will always be there to help you should you need me. All you have to do is tell me what you want."

He let his hold on her soften enough she could pull back slightly and get a good look at him. _Was he serious? _She didn't know what to say to such a confession without it being a lie or hurting him, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. He had done more for her in the last two days then she could of asked for or even deserved. She liked Thane, maybe even loved him. Their friendship was at a deeper level then any of her other team mates, but...but.. she loved Garrus. No, she was _in love_ with Garrus, and that made this even harder for her to say.

"Thane_,_ I.. appreciate what you're saying. But I.. can't... return those feelings." _This is it, he's going to hate me now! _

"Shepard, I care about you enough to stand back and let you be with Garrus without interfering. I do not want to do anything to bring you pain. I just wanted you to know how I felt." Turning back to face the decadent view he took a deep breath, almost like he was releasing a mound of pent up stress. "Tell me what you want Shepard, what do you really.. really want?"

There was no doubt in her mind about the answer to that question. There was only one thing that mattered to her more then anything right now.

"As much as I'm super pissed at him," she said, her tone changing to a more light hearted level, "I want to find Garrus. He could be in trouble, or worse. I don't want to take that chance."

Thane nodded and let his arm come around her again and pulled her over so she could rest her head against his shoulder. "I'm sure he is fine, Shepard. This is Garrus after all. Besides, I'm sure he's saving himself for the ass kicking he's going to receive when you find him." They both chuckled, the tension that had built finally dissipating.

In front of them sunset was in full effect, casting the sky in a swirling array of deep purples and vibrant oranges.

"If that is what you want Shepard, I will be there to help you. We will go and find him, and bring him back. But I want you to know that, even though I do not know if I am in love with you, I want to warn you. If it turns out that I am in love with you, not even Garrus will be able to stand in my way of pursuing you."

She should of been angry at that statement. She should of told him, no no no! But what was the point? He knew how she felt, and he wouldn't do anything to jeopardise what they already had, so she let it go and just enjoyed the dancing rays of the setting sun until the cold forced them to go back to the Normandy.

**o.O.o**

Finding Sidonis' hideout had been harder then he thought it would be, but since he was on foot Garrus cut himself a little slack. Not that it made him feel any better. Nope.. he still felt like complete shit, and _those_ feelings he definitely deserved!

The way he left her! Turned his back on her even though she was pleading with him through teary eyes and such obvious pain! But NO! He had to fuck that all up for... _SIDONIS! _The last time someone did that to her he was cast to the side; friendship over.. goodbye forever! He couldn't go back now, couldn't face her, and that made his heart tear in two. All he had left was this. He had to find Sidonis and put an end to everything, put an end to _him! _For his lost team, the deaths of the colonists and for Shepard. Mostly...for Shepard. Not only had he almost killed her, he'd taken her from him forever just by being alive and that was something he would never, ever forgive.

The bunker was up ahead and pulling himself together he moved quietly towards it, following the worn trail and sidestepping partially hidden stones and tree roots. The area was densely forested, loose wet leaves falling delicately on his head and shoulders, but after a moment of searching he finally found the entrance and slipped inside.

It was eerily quiet. There wasn't much to the hideout, a few simple storage boxes and low tables, but looking around Garrus couldn't see a single person. With his sniper rifle clutched tightly in his hands he searched the three rooms on the lower level, confusion setting in. _Where the hell was everyone? _

Rummaging through desk draws and shelves proved useless, there was nothing helpful here. It was like the whole place had been stripped clean just before he arrived, but just as he was about to give up a sound came from the top level of the building. Finding the stairs Garrus started to ascend until he came to the second floor landing and was met by a long hallway with a single room at the end. From where he stood he could see shadows dancing in the doorway, the sounds of clicking and low muffles echoed down towards him. He tensed, _finally!_

Bringing his rifle to aim he slowly and quietly made his way down the hall, keeping as close to the right side as he could. Straining his ears, he tried to focus in on the muffling sounds, finally able to decipher random words.

_…...idio ...ident …... again …..colonist... rian tech..._

They made no sense, but there was something familiar about the voice. Garrus froze, it was _him!_ He felt the rush of adrenaline surge through him, his blood burned under his skin and all he wanted to do was storm into the room and start shooting. With his back against the wall he brought his rifle up and charged, not stopping until his rifle barrel came into contact with the back of his soon to be victim who was too busy with the communications module to notice; but Garrus faltered as he finally saw his face.

"Loire?" Lowering his gun he roughly turned the human to look at him. He looked, different. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh.. Garrus right?" he said, slowly edging away from the towering Turian, "I'm, ah.. trying to call for help."

Garrus looked back and forth between the comm station and Loire, trying to figure out the strange vibe he was getting, "Does it work?" he asked, keeping Loire in his peripheral vision as his talons ran swiftly over the device.

"Uh yeah, I think so. I've been trying to ah, contact the Normandy."

Garrus pawed at the console, trying to get the thing to work and noticed the call log. Days of communications with various groups, the Shadow Broker and other names he didn't recognise, until reaching the bottom of the list where... huh? The latest communication was signed with an _'S' _and had only been received a few minutes ago. Garrus knew exactly who that was, and after pressing play on the screen, the voice of his enemy blared to life.

_"Loire, you idiot; you were supposed to kill them! Now my identity has been compromised and I'm going to have to start all over again! Bring whatever colonists you have down to the lab, the experiments must continue. That Batarian technology will be mine!"_

"Loire! What the..." But before Garrus could finish his sentence, the back of his head pulsed with blinding shock. Loire hit him again, the butt of his pistol coming down on the softest part of the Turians fringe and as stars hovered in front of Garrus eyes he heard the human laugh and sneer.

"Might as well start with you Turian, you sick fuck!"


	8. Something Wicked

_Hu guys,_

_Thanks for being patient. Finally chapter 7 is here. Lots of talking in this one as things start to come to a head. The story is nearing it's completion._

_Please comment, I'll give you candy :D_

_XXX Maqi_

_ps:- I would just like to apologise to all GarrusFangirls first and foremost :D_

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**Something Wicked…**

The strong taste of blood in his mouth.

Back of his head... throbbing.

Room spinning.

When Garrus finally came to his gut was roiling, painful nausea passing through him like waves. Every breath he struggled to take overwhelmed him, the brightness of the lights burned his eyes. He tried opening his mouth to speak, but thick blue blood bubbled from the back of his throat causing him to choke momentarily.

Forcing his eyes to adjust to the stark light he quickly took in his surroundings. He was in a room, that much was certain, but nothing here seemed familiar. Some low tables, benches stretching the length of the walls; overhead cupboards and what looked like... _was that medical equipment?_

Panic shot through him and fighting back the constant pulsing in his head he tried to sit up only to find he couldn't move. Confused, he let his gaze roam down the length of his body and gasped. He was laying on an operating table. His armour had been stripped from him, and he was barely covered with a dirty white sheet, his arms and legs restrained with leather buckles. Lifting his head was only met by the cruel bite of metal at his throat._ What the fuck! _Feeling the adrenaline run in his blood he started to struggle, trying to free his limbs. The straps dug into his skin and the more he fought the more the leathery binds tore against his flesh. He had to get free, but every move he made was met by resistance, the metal collar at his throat restricting his breathing with every panicked jolt.

The floating sound of laughter from behind him made Garrus flinch, and from one of the darker corners Loire sauntered towards him and was suddenly at his side; staring down at him with a vicious smirk.

"You're finally awake, turian. I thought I was going to get a break and you'd die before now," he said, sounding overly disappointed, "such a shame."

Garrus' throat burned as he tried to form words, the slick sweet taste of his blood awash in his mouth, "You... what have you done.. to.. me?"

"Well, just telling you wouldn't be any fun now... would it?"

Garrus tried to reach out to him without success, "You asshole! Let me out of here!"

"Tut tut.. my friend," he sneered, leaning towards him so his mouth was at his ear as he hissed his words, "this is the least you deserve." His hand travelled down the plating of Garrus' arm in a gentle caress that made the Turians skin shudder with revulsion. He struggled again, his bound talon itching for the soft flesh at Loire's throat, strained growls erupting from within him.

"Tell me Garrus, does _she_ touch you like this? Hmm? Do you like the feel of her soft warm skin on you?" Loire let his hand linger, his fingers dancing between the grooves of Garrus' long claws; slow; steady. His eyes travelled over the foreign body in front of him, curiosity getting the better of him and with a flick of his wrist he ripped the soiled sheet from Garrus' trembling body.

With mandibles flaring Garrus growled, snapping his teeth at the human in a vain attempt to attack him. He was naked; exposed, and as fervent anger filled him to his core, so did humility. _He was going to destroy Loire!_

"Has she seen you like this?" Loire asked, "You must have fucked her by now, right? I was her first you know." He laughed again, the sound was beginning to grate on Garrus' nerves. "We were young though, didn't really know what we were doing. I bet she's a lot better now however. Is she? Does she still do that thing with her tongue?"

Garrus growled again, "Shut your fucking mouth! When I get out of here..."

"Oh, I don't think that will be happening," Loire said cutting him off, "not after what we've done to you."

Garrus froze, his eye twitching as the words sunk in. "And what would that be?" He tried to sit up again, the collar at his throat pinching his skin making his head fall flat against the table, when he felt something... different. It was hard, sharp. How did he miss that?

"I think I'll let your buddy tell you all about that. I'm just here to make sure this whole thing goes off without a hitch." Loire left his side and came to a stop beside the small table covered with dirty medical instruments. His hand wavered then picked up a small scalpel.

"You know Garrus," he said, his voice barely a whisper, "we could have some fun before he gets here." Loire returned to his side and lowered the scalpel against Garrus' leg, the cool blade scraping along the plates on his thigh making him tremble with panic.

"Let me out of here," he pleaded, he had not felt fear for a long, long time.

"I don't think so, not yet anyway." Loire dug the blade under one of the skeletal plates sharply making Garrus squirm and jolt in pain. Trying to suppress a scream he bucked his body, banging his hips hard on the medical table. The restraints gnawing against him finally slicing through what ever flesh they could find. Loire laughed, his eyes glazed over with sadistic intent as he continued to carve into him, wedging between the almost detached plate and Garrus' torn and swelling skin.

The pain was too much and fighting back the gurgle of blood in his throat, Garrus screamed, his breaths coming in ragged heaves. The sight and sound sent a shiver of pleasure throughout Loire.

"You deserve this you know!" he said, "Maqi has been... tainted because of you and you know what that means?" He dug the knife deeper, pulling another cry from Garrus, "That makes her an alien lover! She doesn't have the right to be called human any more." The plate was barely hanging on, Garrus could see the mess of blood and sinew. Loires' words were becoming muffled, "Her death will be much, much worse then what we have in mind for you, turian!"

The threat brought Garrus out of his daze, just the idea of this maniac doing anything to Shepard sent a new surge of anger through him. He felt his mind become clear, his purpose return and with all the strength he could muster he once again fought against the straps binding his arm until the satisfying tear of leather echoed in his ears. His left arm was free, blood oozing from the shredded wounds, when he brought it around and snatched the scalpel cutting into him, and before Loire could react Garrus plunged the scalpel deep into the exposed throat of the human.

Loire staggered backwards, his hands coming to the knife protruding from him, a look of utter surprise and disgust on his face. Thick red blood spewed from the hole, staining the front of Loires shirt, and pooled at the floor beneath his feet. Garrus watched as he tried to pull the scalpel out, his fingers becoming weaker and weaker as the loss of so much vital fluid started to become apparent. He swayed forward, arms outstretched towards Garrus, gurgled curses on his lips, when out of nowhere the heavy sound of a gunshot exploded inside the small room and Loires head blew apart sending chunks of matter all over the stunned turian.

There was blood and tissue on his face, the smell of death permeated everywhere. _What the fuck just happened?_

Sidonis was standing in the doorway, a smoking pistol in his hand and cruel a look on his face. His gaze locked onto Garrus' eyes, "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that." Continuing to point the gun at Garrus he moved towards him, stepping over the remains of Loires broken body. "He's been a pain in the ass since I hired him. All he had to do was bring me colonists as I needed them, not help them!"

He was so close! The anger started to build again, the faces of his fallen team flooding his memories. He just had to reach out! Grab him by the throat and squeeze!

"Sidonis! You bastard! What are you doing here? What are you planning!"

"Planning?" he said with a whimsical grin, "I'm not planning anything my old friend."

"Fuck you Sidonis! When I get my hands on you you're going to wish I had killed you back on the Citadel!"

Sidonis let the barrel of the gun rest softly against Garrus' temple, "Ah yes, the Citadel. Do you know how hard it was to keep a straight face through that whole ordeal? Poor Shepard, she can be so soft sometimes, right?" he said, laughing quietly.

"What... are you talking about?"

"Oh please, come on! You didn't actually think I was that pathetic, did you? I have to admit, I _was_ worried there for a moment. Imagine my surprise when I see _THE_ Commander Shepard coming towards me, I knew straight away Harkin, or Fade as he came to call himself... had been compromised. All I had to do was lay on the guilt and I knew Shepard would eventually cave and come around to my way of thinking. I was amazed however, I thought you'd kill me anyway. She must really mean a lot to you that you'd listen to her so easily."

"You.. tricked us? It was all a... ruse?" Garrus couldn't believe what he was hearing! _Had he been taken for a fool?_

"Well, it wasn't hard!" Sidonis said with a smile, "I had been working on my operation too damn long for you to screw it up Garrus. I had to do what I had to do."

"You sold us all out!"

"Oh stop with the sentimentalities Garrus! Those idiots would never have gone along with what I had in mind. They all looked up to you! I only joined your little band of renegades hoping to use you all for my own cause. You were all strong soldiers, I needed that. But you...! You were stronger then all of them! And instead of using that strength to get what you wanted, bring fear into the people, you used it to bring... justice! Justice Garrus..._really_? The thought of it made me sick! I tried my hardest to turn you all, but nothing I said made any difference. All of those imbeciles were too busy looking at you with stars in their eyes to help me with what I needed!

"What.. the hell? You killed them all because of your own wounded pride!"

"Pride? Oh no.. Archangel! I had them all killed because I knew I would have to face you all one day and that was something I just didn't want to deal with. I've been working so hard on this Garrus! I couldn't take the chance that you'd come along and fuck it all up for me! So I let slip the information on their whereabouts, and then watched them all die," his mandibles widened giving Garrus a toothy could feel his insides churn, "then...why? Why did you let me live! Why lure me away?

"I couldn't risk you being there. I knew if you were it wouldn't end up how I wanted, you would have somehow rallied the others. You were an added strength I couldn't gamble on. It was easier to have them killed without you. I suppose I was hoping the loss would, oh I don't know.. make you feel so guilty you'd kill yourself! I guess the jokes on me, huh?"

Sidonis fell into fits of maniacal laughter, his shoulders heaving as the waves of mirth overcame him. Garrus wanted to kill him. Kill him dead.. dead.. _DEAD! _

"But.. why? If you needed help you should of just come to me! There was no reason to kill our entire team!"

Sidonis' laughter subsided and he grabbed Garrus' chin in his hand and brought their faces within an inch of each other, furrowing his brow. His countenance changed so quickly it caught Garrus off guard, making him jump at the sudden touch of his enemy.

"Tell me Garrus," he said, his wavering voice so deep it made the turians skin convulse, "what do you know of the batarian mind control device they use?"

His mind went blank. Apart from the small amounts of information Shepard had told him, he knew relatively little about the tech. Even during his years at C-Sec he had never come across any Intel about it.

"You see," Sidonis continued, "the chip they use is a perfect mind control device. I tried for years to get the blueprints on how to make them for my own use. The batarians are fiercely protective of that little piece of tech. No amount of credits could sway them from giving me the Intel, so I had to make my own with the help of several salarian scientists who once it was complete, unfortunately lost their lives. It took months to come up with a simple device. A box containing various neural transmitters that link directly into the cortex of the brain. It's clunky, but it works. Basically, I can stop your brain from thinking and implant my own commands. Isn't that great?" Sidonis pushed Garrus' head to the side and eyed the small box attached with wires at the base of his neck. It had taken hours of surgery to implant the device, but it was going to be worth it. As soon as he turned on the device, Garrus would be his. Once the major kinks had been worked out thanks to the colonists and mercs Loire and the Shadow Broker had supplied, it was finally as ready as it was going to be. He smirked at how easily it was to fool those two idiots, but then sweet talk and credits combined could do amazing things.

Garrus tried to shift his head and suddenly felt the foreign object at the base of his skull. Sidonis' words sunk into him, the full weight of what was about to transpire made his heart stop.

"What... what are you...?"

Sidonis laughed. It was sick... twisted. Bringing Garrus back to face him he bored into the turian's eyes, seeing the absolute terror there and felt his pride swell. _Yes, yes... be afraid Garrus._

"You're going to kill Shepard, my old friend."

**o.O.o**

As Shepard and her team circled in the shuttle, a sickly feeling came over her. They had spent all morning and afternoon combing the thick forests in the far reaching outskirts of the colony, coming across literally dozens of empty buildings and deserted mine shafts in hopes they would find any sign that Garrus was in the vicinity. Some housed ragtag members of the escaping mercs, other contained vicious varren or klixen, but for all the hours they'd wasted they'd come up empty handed and she was starting to worry. Really, really worry!

Kasumi and Thane had volunteered to come on this particular mission. They were both terribly concerned about her, she could see it written all over their faces, and that just made her feel even worse. _She_ was the Commander here, she didn't need them to be distracted by _her_ emotions. She needed them ready and willing to fight what ever they came across! _Easier said then done_, she thought as she contemplated Thane. And what if her worst fears came true? What if they did find Garrus, but it was too late? What if he was... dead?

"Shep, down there. See?"

Kasumis' voice brought her out of her thoughts and she peered out the window of the shuttle where the pint sized thief was pointing. Amidst the dense forest she could see crumbling stone and the remains of a derelict building. She'd definitely seen her share of run down ruins for the day. Tapping on the pilots window she instructed him to take them lower.

Kasumi smiled at her as she popped the empty heat-sink from her pistol and reloaded it. "We'll find him Shep, don't worry."

"Have no fear, Shepard," Thane added with a warm smile, "just remember who we're dealing with." _Great, now they're both babying me!_

Flinging the shuttle doors open they jumped the last few feet to the planets surface, all three of them immediately heading to the nearest cover they could find while the Kodiak took to the air once again. After quickly checking the perimeter and finding nothing, they headed towards the bunker door and slipped inside.

The place was deserted. Splitting up they searched the lower floor only to come up empty, yet again. _This is getting old,_ Shepard sighed.

"Shepard?" Thane nodded to his left, motioning to the stairs leading up to the higher level and stood back to let the Commander take point as she led them upstairs.

As she made her way down the long hall her previous sickly feeling came flooding back. Something wasn't right, and as she stepped into the confines of the small room a nagging sense of terror overcame her. Her eyes caught the bright blue stains on the floor, and as she knelt down to press her fingers into the sticky mess she felt panic rise in her throat. Her body froze, it was blood. Fresh turian blood.

"Guys!" Shepard screamed to the others, her hand trembling as she wiped her stained fingers against her leg and frantically scoured the tiny box, noticing a very distinct trail of blood going around the scattered table and chairs on the other side of room and coming to a stop.

Thane and Kasumi were at her side quickly, helping her to her feet. "There.. there!" Shepard tore free from their grasp and came to a halt at the old wooden door on the other side of the room. The blood pooled on the floor and disappeared behind it. Shepard kicked it open and charged through, taking the rickety stairs two at a time as she descended. Her heart began to thunder against her chest as the faint sounds of murmuring drifted upwards from the dark.

_Finally... finally!_

They came to a stop outside a newer door at the bottom, her hand shakily working at her omni-tool to crack the lock. The pressurised hiss resounded in her ears and the door slid open.

The smell hit her first, thick and heavy. The air was laden with the dank tang of blood mixed with chemicals. Shepard fought back the sudden urge to vomit when her eyes came to rest on a familiar face.

She wanted to run to him. Fling herself into his arms. But something in her held her back. He looked... different. His name fell uncertainly from her lips, "Garrus?"

"He can't hear you I'm afraid." Sidonis' voice cracked as he appeared from the darkened corner like a melting shadow.

Shepard raised her gun, her finger quivering with trepidation on the trigger. Coming face to face with the Turian again after their last meeting made her oddly.. nervous. Her gaze went from between him and Garrus.

"What have you done to him?"

He laughed, the sound making Shepard's skin crawl. "I've made him...better." he sneered as he walked towards the operating table and stopping beside Garrus, "I've made him... mine."

Shepard felt her stomach lurch, _what the hell did he mean by that?_

"G...Garrus..?" She took a few steps out from the doorway, keeping her gun locked tight on Sidonis, and came to a stop on the opposite side of him. He looked...dead. Soulless. His gaze was fixed straight ahead, breathing subtle and eyes unblinking. It was as if he didn't even know Shepard was there. Or if, he himself was there. Letting her eyes roam over his bare chest she was thankful at least, he wasn't badly injured. He was just... stone._ Oh.. Garrus, what has he __done to you?_

"I've been trying for months to get the tech right! It might not be a perfect replica of the batarian chip, rather crude really; but it is useful nonetheless." Sidonis ran his talon down Garrus' arm, stroking him almost gently, like he was petting a puppy. His eyes flitting back and forth between his prize and Shepard. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Give me one good reason not to blow your fucking head off!" she shoved her gun into Sidonis' face, anger flowing through her.

"Well, if you did that you won't be able to help your little friend now, would you Shepard? It's so typical of you humans! You think you're so damn smart!

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM!

Sidonis couldn't help but smile at her frustration, "I've been trying to duplicate the batarian mind control device. Granted, I haven't been entirely successful, I haven't been able to implant a permanent chip, but this is just as good." Sidonis tapped the small box at the base of Garrus' fringe. He flared his mandibles, his sharp teeth on show, "He'll do anything I say!"

Raising his omni-tool Sidonis quickly passed a claw over a combination of buttons and stepped back, letting himself come up hard against the wall and laughed.

"Get rid of them Vakarian! Kill Shepard and her friends!"

Her panicked gaze went straight to the turian, watching as he seemed to come out of his trance and turn towards her. Their eyes locked on each other for a moment, long and lingering, before Garrus started to raise from the table and stood tall in front of Shepard.

"Garrus... don't.. it's me.."

There was no recognition in his eyes and before she could react, Garrus leapt at her, sending her crashing to the floor and dropping her gun. She shook her head, trying to her bearings and turned back to face Garrus. He quickly bent forward to pick up the gun from the ground and aimed it at Shepard before Thane or Kasumi could get to her. Shepard froze, her pleading eyes fixed solely on Garrus, when she saw him hesitate.

"Garrus! Damn it, snap out of it!"

The gun started to shake, his face contorted in confusion. Shepard came to her knees in front of him, looking up into his face. She could have sworn she saw a glimmer of _him_ there.

"Garrus... please..."

Annoyed, Sidonis keyed at his omni-tool, his talons moving swiftly and barked the order once again. "Do it Vakarian! Kill her!"

Something seemed to flash in Garrus' eyes. His usual intense blue orbs turned dull again. His hand gained control of the gun, strong and with purpose. Shepard saw his face harden as their eyes met, his gaze cutting through her.

He pulled the trigger.

It only took a second. One second.

Shepard let her eyes slide shut as the gunshot sounded, filling the room with a thrumming explosion, followed by deathly silence.


	9. If this is the end

_It is finally here and wraps up the main arc of this story. There is still one more chapter to come though _

_Thanks to all those that are following, and sorry it's taken so long. This one had me stuck... A LOT! There were so many thing I wanted or needed to happen in this chapter and I eventually got myself lost. But I pulled myself back together and here we are._

_Enjoy, and don't forget to comment._

_xxxMaqi_

* * *

**If this is the end, then...**

_**Shepard**_

Time seemed to stop.

Her eyes were fixed solely on the gun in Garrus' hand, silently praying to herself that this was all a dream. _He wouldn't do it. He couldn't!_ But she saw his talon move, saw it press without hesitation against the trigger at almost point blank range. She slid her eyes shut, waiting for the impact.

The moment the gun went off and the events that followed were slowed to a snails pace, the blur of images melting into each other as Shepard watched the faint blue-green glimmer of her geth shield boosting up – trying to aid her and give her extra protection.

But even with her added defence, the bullet tore through her shields – shredding them beyond regeneration and gave a surprised Shepard the chance to shift her body an inch to the left. The hot metal shattered her new armour and sliced into her right shoulder, sending her careening backwards, toppling her from her knees, only to end up sprawled on the floor and flat on her back. Her head slammed hard on the floor of the lab, sending stars dancing in front of her eyes. The strap of her visor dug into her skull, she could feel warm tacky blood matting her hair.

Kasumi was suddenly on top of her, the tiny thief's body trying in earnest to shield her commander from another attack. She was screaming something, Shepard was sure of it, but all she could hear was the ringing in her ears and feel the dull thud of pain in her shoulder. _Why do I always end up on my ass!_ she thought. Kasumi fired her weapon twice, the kick-back making her push against Shepard as she was trying to sit up. Fear tore through her body, was she firing at Garrus?

Ignoring the pain in her shoulder she grabbed onto Kasumi's arm, pulling it with force making her lower the gun and turn towards her.

"What do you think you're doing!"

The thief's eyes darted between her target and Shepard, frustration settling in. She tried to pull her arm free, but the almost lucid commander was glaring at her.

"Shepard, don't move. You've been hit!" she tapped the commander's hand, "medi-gel. Quick!" Wrenching her arm from Shepard, she rose to her feet and aimed her gun again, firing more shots into the darkened room.

Shepard tapped at her omni-tool, injecting the last of her grey goo directly into the gaping wound at her shoulder, biting down on her tongue to hold in the pain. She felt it working immediately, the wound on the back of her head could wait for now.

With her senses returning Shepard rose to her feet slowly in time to see Sidonis escape through the only door.

**o.O.o**

_**Thane**_

Thane couldn't move fast enough, and he cursed himself for it. He had to watch as Garrus, his supposed team mate, aimed and fired his weapon at Shepard. His heart flipped in his chest. _He shot her? He actually shot her!_ And as much as his commander's shields managed to slow the rapid decline of the bullet, it wasn't enough. The bullet hit her, sending chunks of metal from her shoulder guard and the spray of blood into the air. _No!_

His first instinct was to run to her and shield her from danger.

His second instinct was to run to Garrus, and disarm him. Or worse.

His mind reeled, but when he saw Kasumi run to Shepard and cover her, his body instinctively headed towards Garrus and reached out to grab the gun just as the mindless turian was about to fire again. His fingers slipped around the weapon, its barrel still smoking – and he gripped tightly, lifting the gun and Garrus' arm above his head as the second bullet exploded into thin air.

Behind them Sidonis cowered against the wall, still fumbling with his omni-tool and shouting commands to his puppet.

"Kill them! Kill all of them!"

Thane noticed the spark in Garrus' eye as the command sank in. _What in the Gods was happening here?_

Garrus' arm came down swiftly, knocking Thane back, allowing him to bring the gun to focus on the startled drell. Thane's training kicked in, as natural to him as breathing, and in an instant he was in motion.

His left hand reached out and tightly grabbed the gun while his right hand curled into a fist and expertly hit Garrus' wrist twice, striking at the nerve until the weapon fell from the turian's hand and clattered to the floor. His body continued to move on it's own, hands and arms repeating the complex actions hammered into him since childhood.

He took a sweeping step past his team mate's reach and thrust his palms upwards in unison, hitting Garrus on the thin-skinned plates just below his eyes before dropping his right elbow and slamming the bony joint into the stunned turian's collarbone. A strained growl escaped from Garrus' throat as he staggered backwards allowing Thane to sweep with his leg against Garrus' knee sending him off balance even more. Planting a hand on his shoulder, Thane vaulted his lithe body over the crumbling turian, turning on his palm as he descended and brought his left foot down heavily to kick Garrus in the tender area between his knee joint and the spur. Garrus fell to his knees yelping in pain, but the urgent cries didn't register in the assassin's ears. Thane drove his foot into the base of Garrus' spine, sending a jolt of pain through his friend's body making him arch his back and lean into Thane's open arms.

This was supposed to be the killing move. Grip under the chin, spin and snap the neck. A clean kill. But he couldn't do it, he _couldn't_ kill him, so instead he opted for a more sedate action. Bringing his arms around Garrus neck he pulled him into a headlock, constricting the turian's airway. Thane could feel the body beneath him begin to wane. He held tighter, ignoring the clawed talons scratching at his hands trying to pry his fingers away, but the grip was too concrete.

Garrus' wheezy sobs racked through him as his vision began to blur and the rushing sound of water filled his ears. His eyes glazed over, reaching that next breath was becoming a struggle, when he finally let his lids close and the darkness overcome him.

Feeling Garrus go limp in his arms, Thane let him crumble to the floor, pulled his Tempest from it's holster, and spun on his toes just in time to shoot Sidonis in the upper thigh as he made a hasty exit from the room.

**o.O.o **

_**Kasumi**_

"Get to him Thane, quickly!" Kasumi dove on top of Shepard, trying to shield her from Garrus as he aimed his gun for a second shot. Behind him, Sidonis growled in frustration trying to find a place to hide.

Taking a few shots at the cowering turian, her arm was suddenly rent from it's position and she was pulled around towards the angered face of her Commander.

"What do you think you're doing?" _Doing? Doing? I'm trying to save you here, Shep!_

Her eyes went down to the wound at Shepard's shoulder and she sighed. Of all the people she had known in her rather colourful life, her Commander was probably the most luckiest human alive. The amount of times Shepard found herself shot, hurt... MAIMED!.. she always found her way back on to her feet stronger then ever. Hell, not even death could keep the stubborn woman down.

"Shepard, don't move. You've been hit. Medi-gel, quick."

Leaving Shepard to heal herself and Thane to deal with Garrus, Kasumi spied Sidonis again, tucked behind a desk and took another few pot shots at him. He was proving to be a slippery bastard, and that just wouldn't do. She had to get to him.

Charging her skills, Kasumi felt her cloaking ability come alive. The sudden flash of electric blue rippled it's way around her body and she disappeared, only to reappear at Sidonis' side. Catching him off guard, she struck the side of his head with the butt of her gun causing him to fall to the floor before she was suddenly thrust back beside her Commander.

Taking advantage of his disorientation, she side-stepped Thane as he brought down Garrus and made her way to Sidonis. He was scrambling to his feet and heading for the door when a shot came from out of know where and hit him in the thigh.

She followed him up the stairs, careful not to slip on the pools of blood splashed on the steps and chased him back up into the small room of the bunker. _For someone who's shot he can certainly haul ass_, she thought.

Cocking her gun she took refuge behind a desk and spied the blood trail on the other side of the room. He was hunched down low leaning against the wall. She let her cloak ripple with energy again and as the blue sparks engulfed her she allowed herself to be transported next to the wounded body of Sidonis, but he was ready for her this time.

As she reappeared Sidonis grabbed her ankle and pulled, whipping the thief's leg out from under her. She fell backwards, her shoulders coming in contact with the floor with such force she felt the wind being knocked out of her. Sidonis scrambled on top of her, pinned her arms under his legs and brought his clenched fist to the side of her nose, growling as he heard the sickening crack of bone. Her eyes rolled up into the back of head and she passed out.

**o.O.o**

…**.Vengeance is Mine..**

Sidonis wrapped his talons around the girl's throat and squeezed. Her flesh was taut under his hold, smooth... warm. He couldn't help but bring his face close to hers. She was quite beautiful, for a human, even with the bloodied and broken nose. His tongue snaked out from behind his razor sharp teeth and he tasted her, licking down her clammy cheek. He could smell the life seeping from her.

"Let her go.." The smooth voice of Thane interrupted Sidonis' ministrations and he snapped his head towards the drell as he was taking the last few steps up from the lab below.

"But I'm enjoying myself here drell, why are you so intent on ruining my fun?" He let go of Kasumi's throat and lifted her unconscious body towards him, cradling her in his arms. He nuzzled against the back of her neck, deeply inhaling her scent. "She smells amazing, I can see why Garrus is so taken with humans," he smelled her again, tangling his mandibles in her hair, "..or human, right?"

Thane took a step forward, his gun aimed tightly, but Sidonis didn't budge. Instead he clung to Kasumi's body, using her as a shield. "I wouldn't if I were you, it would be so easy to snap her pretty little neck. Put your gun on the floor.. you don't want anything to happen to her do you?"

Thane hesitated but did as he was told. As he bent to lower his weapon, Sidonis readied his own. These two didn't matter to him, they were nothing. Peons in the grander scheme of things. All that mattered was Garrus and the device secured on the base of his neck.

"Here's what's going to happen," he started, "I'm going to get up and you're going to move aside and let me go. If you don't, not only will I kill your little friend here, I'll make sure it's slow and painful. Kick it over here." He flexed his mandibles wide in a smile.

Thane grunted under his breath, but what choice did he have? He nudged the gun towards Sidonis and took a step back.

Keeping his gun fixed on Thane, Sidonis let Kasumi's body drop to the floor heavily and picked up the discarded weapon now aiming both of them at the defenceless drell.

"You guys sure are more trouble then I thought you would be." he said as he advanced on Thane, "All I wanted to do was make this device. Get what I deserve! Do you realise the amount of power one could gain by controlling the mind of another!"

"That's what this is about? Power?"

"What else would it be about! Think of all the people I could control. The council. The Shadow Broker himself! It's always about who has the most power!" He stood toe to toe with Thane, both weapons were aimed into his torso. _Wrong move._

In one quick deft action, Thane grabbed both of the weapons in Sidonis' hands and wrenched the startled turian's arms apart which brought him into the open embrace of the more muscular drell. Thane bucked forward, head butting Sidonis so hard in the nose a fresh spurt of blood splashed onto his cheek. But his stance was compromised, and wobbling on his legs Sidonis fell into Thane causing the two of them to stumble.

They both went tumbling down the stairs, hitting each and every step on the way down. They were a bundle of limbs, yelling and cursing; trying in vain to clasp onto each other to support themselves, or slow themselves from the eventual sudden stop at the end.

As Shepard got to her feet, she gave a quick glance to Garrus. He was still passed out on the floor, but relatively unharmed. Searching the room quickly she spied his equipment and pushing the armour aside she pulled out his sniper rifle, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw it was still loaded. Behind her the stairwell was suddenly full of noise and the mangled body of Sidonis fell awkwardly from the door and hit the ground hard, followed by an equally injured Thane.

She raced to his side, dragging him away from Sidonis and gave him a quick once over. He was hurt, bad.

"Thane! Hey.. look at me!" She shook him by his shoulders. His eyes barely opened, but he managed a raspy whisper before passing out. "Kasumi... upstairs.."

Shepard cursed under her breath, this was just going all kinds of wrong! Should she stay, or go check on Kasumi? Sidonis was out cold, his legs looked broken and limp. If she was going to go, now was her chance.

Gripping the sniper rifle, she headed towards the door and started to climb when she heard a noise behind her. The low growl was instantly recognisable and it made Shepard's body freeze in place. Turning her head she saw Garrus getting to his feet groggily, still completely unaware of who he was. Taking the steps back down, Shepard made a move towards him carefully, avoiding the bloodied mess of Sidonis' and Thane's tangled bodies..

"Garrus?" At the sound of his name, Garrus looked sharply at her and in one smooth move lunged forward. He was on top of her immediately, his heavy angled frame trying to force her to the ground. She brought her leg up and kneed him in the groin, his angered hiss loud in her ears. But he recovered quickly and before Shepard could protect herself, Garrus curled his fist and punched her dead in the chin sending her crumbling to the floor, the rifle clattered down beside her.

He threw himself on her, readying himself for another attack. Panic spread through Shepard, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but she had no choice. If she kept this up there was no doubt he was going to kill her.

As his fist came down to make contact with her again, Shepard blocked him with her right arm and struck him in the chin with her palm. His head flung back giving her the opportunity to follow up and jab him quickly in the throat with her knuckles. Pushing against his chest, she heaved him off and shoved his bulky mass to her side. Garrus scrambled to stand up, but before he could regain control, Shepard reached out and grabbed the sniper rifle and quickly swept it under Garrus feet. He fell backwards, his head slamming against the wall as he went down into a crippled lump. She dove on him, keeping the gun nearby in case she needed it, and used her weight to subdue him before he regained his senses.

Then the room was suddenly ringing, the loud explosion of a gunshot echoed around her.. and then pain. Shepard inhaled deeply.. sharply.. as the excruciating pang of a bullet ripped its way through her armour and lodged itself in the hard muscle of her back. Her eyes widened with fear, _this wasn't happening. _

She heard the sickening laugh of Sidonis as he fought against the gurgle of blood in his mouth, his legs bent and broken beyond repair. "Not this time Shepard... this time.. you die!" The room exploded again, and another bullet found its way into her back.

Shepard's mind went numb as the realisation of what had happened registered. _Is this how it's going to end? No! No! I can't give up just yet! I have to help him..._

Garrus started to struggle beneath her, his arms were pinned down at his sides, but the strength he possessed was starting to overwhelm her. Shepard fought against the darkness creeping into the edges of her vision. The two bullet wounds in her back were now bleeding profusely, oozing thick read streams relentlessly with every breath she took and every strained beat of her heart

She pulled Garrus towards her by his cowl as she straddled him, leaning against him more out of sheer exhaustion than anything, and wrapped her arms around his neck bringing her hands to rest on the small box firmly attached there.

Garrus growled in her ear, gnashing his teeth against the soft exposed flesh of Shepard's throat before she slammed her temple against the side of his face, sending his head reeling backwards. He became still in her arms. She had to do something! Anything! Seeing him like this, seeing him so... mindless, tore her apart.

Behind her she heard Sidonis yelling, dragging his broken body across the floor reaching out a bloodied talon towards them. "Don't! Don't! He's MINE! You can't... can't have him!" He fired his gun again, but the disappointing click of an empty heat sink was all that resounded. In frustration he threw the weapon at Shepard, but missed.

"He is NOT!", she screamed back, "You can manipulate him with this fucking device all you want, but he will NEVER be yours! I won't allow it!" She gripped tightly at the small box with tense fingers.

"NO! NO! You can't! You'll kill him! I've worked too long... you...!"

_That...can't be true, right? Will he die if I pull this out?_

Shepard's fingers ran over the device delicately, her mind fuzzy with doubt. If that was the case then... then..

She took a deep breath and gripped the box again. "If he does, it's... ok," she said quietly, more for herself then the crazed turian coming up on her rear, "I know he'd want it this way. He wouldn't want to die as one of your fucking puppets!"

She pulled Garrus closer to her and pressed her cheek, slick with newly hot tears, against the side of his face. "Garrus," she whispered, "I'm sorry but... I.." choking back a sob Shepard let her eyes slide shut and with all her strength, she pulled.

The small box at the base of his neck was torn away, the several embedded wires slid out in a mess of gushing blue blood. His body began to convulse violently, but she just hugged him closer to her chest trying to stop herself from being thrown off until his body finally came to a stop and went limp in her arms. A small wheezy breath escaped his mouth, long and low, as his head lolled to the side, his once vibrant blue eyes now dull and lifeless.

Sidonis screamed behind her, dragging himself closer and closer to the pair and came within reach of another gun. "NO! NO! ARRGH! YOU BITCH!"

Shepard heard him yelling, but she didn't care. Her mind was focused solely on the man in her arms. He finally looked... peaceful. Many things raced through her thoughts at that time as she held Garrus' still frame. Sidonis would bleed out eventually and die, so at least that was something. Thane and Kasumi would be fine, she hoped, once they came around and would be able to take their... bodies... back to the Normandy. Miranda was more then capable of taking her position, but whether the others would follow her was another thing. And the reapers? Well... probably best not to think about that.

Her vision was getting worse, everything was just a hazy blur of colour. Her back was completely numb, she couldn't even feel the bullet wounds anymore. And the gash at the back of her head had become so encrusted with dried matted blood, she was sure they'd have to cut her hair just to get the clumps out and make her look presentable.

Still, she just continued to hold Garrus tightly until her consciousness finally slipped away.

Sidonis' hand fell on the gun and with shaky fingers he aimed it at Shepard. _That bitch! She's ruined.. everything! EVERYTHING!_ There was no way he was getting out of here easily, the wounds to his legs were swollen so badly walking was out of the question. But if this was how it was to end, then so be it. He might die here, but at least he wouldn't be dying alone. Garrus was gone already, but Shepard... at least he could have the pleasure of killing the 'Saviour of the Citadel'. And with a cruel smile he fired the pistol.

The gun fell from his grip just as another bullet shredded his left shoulder to match the fresh wound in his chest. His eyes dropped, _but... how? _

"You should... really make sure you have... a full clip..."

Sidonis' breath caught in his throat,_ it...couldn't..be! _Raising his eyes again he caught the angered glimmer of deep sapphire orbs. "Garr...us..?"

The turian smirked, his talon itching on the trigger of the sniper rifle he was holding in his hand beside him. His gaze cut deep into Sidonis, his anger and hatred for the man had passed the tipping point. First his team, then his commander. But worst of all, the one thing he knew he would never forgive him for. Sidonis ordered him to kill Shepard, and he almost had.

"You're..alive?"

"Yes, Sidonis," Garrus said through gritted teeth, "but you, my old friend... are not." He squeezed the trigger and watched with utter joy as the bullet embedded itself in Sidonis' skull. His surprised and accusing eyes rolled into the back of his head, dark blood gushed from the wound. He fell forward, the sickening thud of bone on concrete. It was over.

Looking down at Shepard in his lap, he felt his insides burn. She was breathing, semi-conscious and trembling, no doubt from the shock of her injuries. Grabbing her gently by the shoulder with his free hand, he shook her.

"Shepard?"

She stirred only slightly, her eyelids fluttering as if she were dreaming, but she didn't respond. Instead, she seemed to melt deeper into Garrus' exposed body, holding onto him tightly. He couldn't help but smile and return the embrace.

Garrus felt the weight shift off him instantly. Sidonis was dead, his team was avenged. Shepard was avenged. And with the sounds of footsteps and a low-timbred voice calling their names, Garrus finally let his eyes slide shut and rest.


	10. Say it again Vakarian

_Finally the last chapter of Broken Shadows arrives after such a long time._

_First, I would like to thank all of those that have taken the time to read my story and follow these characters as they went on their journey._

_I would also like to thank everyone that added 'Broken' to their favourites and took time to comment. Also, a big thank you for your patience as I wrote this last chapter, which shows just how much I love the relationship between Garrus and Shepard._

_Lastly, I want to say a big thank you to my ME fanfic terror twin, BelleInconnue, for all of her help in being my BETA and friend since the first chapter rolled off my computer months ago and was always being there to help me when my muse would pack it's bag and bugger off! Thanks luvie, you are the best! I dedicate this chapter to you._

_I hope you all enjoy my ending, and take time to leave your thoughts on what transpires within._

_I wonder if anyone will pick out the small hint of a certain something I put in there. We will see._

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* * *

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**Say it again, Vakarian!**

The hazy white light of the med bay was all that greeted Shepard when she finally awoke. The intense glare made her head throb, and as she tried to block it out with her arm she noticed the thin tubes and lines stuck deep into her skin. Disorientated, but sure she was safe, she tried to sit up. Her vision was only just starting to settle when the tell-tale hiss of the door made her head turn.

"I see our prodigal Commander has finally rejoined the land of the living... again." The quiet voice of Dr. Chakwas filled the room. She stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame and holding a medical data pad in her hand with a whimsical smile creeping across her face.

Shepard slowly lifted herself from the table and turned to greet her, swinging her legs around to let them dangle over the side and stretched them out, wriggling her toes to let the blood flow back into her numbing digits.

"How are you feeling?" the older woman asked.

Shepard smiled, "Well, I don't feel dead like I thought I would."

Chakwas laughed softly and moved forward to lean against the bed opposite her. "I should hope not, Commander. Considering the amount of work we went through to stitch you back together, I'd be rather disappointed if you had died on my operating table."

"I bet," Shepard laughed, "I swear, I should probably just move my belongings in here."

"The thought had crossed my mind once or twice," the doctor replied as she scanned Shepard with her omni tool, apparently quite happy with the results.

"So tell me," she asked again as she started to remove the tubes from her Commander, "how are you feeling... really?"

"A little stiff, but otherwise fine," she cricked her neck, stretching out the twinges, "I'm surprised, I thought I'd be in a bit more pain. How long have I been in here?"

Chakwas didn't even pause to think, "A little over a week, Commander."

"Wow, that long huh? I must of been in pretty bad shape."

"Well actually," Chakwas said, removing the last of the IV tubes, "I kept you in an induced semi coma. Your injuries were quite bad Shepard, worse then usual... for you. But, I know you much too well. A few days in here and you'd be chomping at the bit to get out and start causing more trouble for yourself."

"Me causing trouble?" she cooed, feigning surprise, "I'm pretty certain it's trouble that seems to find it's way to me Doc."

"Regardless, I saw the opportunity to let your body fully recover." She re-took her place opposite Shepard as she continued, "You were fatigued and beyond exhaustion, suffering from three gunshot wounds and a severe head trauma. I did what I did for your sake Commander. I won't apologize."

Shepard shook her head, "I'm not angry, Doc. Thank you, really. What about the others? Thane? Kasumi? G...Garrus?" Her words shook at the mere mention of his name.

"Thane took a bad tumble and knock to the head but is otherwise fine. Kasumi had a broken nose and concussion but she got out of here earlier in the week. Garrus...well his bodily injuries were superficial, nothing a little medi-gel and R & R couldn't fix. But the wound at the back of his head,... that was pretty bad."

"I see..." Shepard dipped her head letting her eyes focus on the floor and sighed.

"Not to worry Commander," Chakwas said happily, tapping Shepard on the shoulder to bring her gaze back to hers, "he's very resilient. Dr. Solus took care of him, made sure there were no lasting effects. He was up and around within a few days. You might want to talk to him though, when you get a chance."

That piqued her interest, "Oh, is there something wrong?"

Chakwas shrugged and shook her head, "Thane explained what happened down there. What Garrus did, or almost did to you."

"He wasn't himself Doc, he didn't know what he doing."

"Commander, I know that. You know that. But Garrus is being much less forgiving on himself."

Shepard sighed, "Is.. that so..?"

"He's been very worried about you, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you're finally awake and back on your feet."

"I'll go see him now, then," Shepard said, taking a step down from the medical table, "do you know where I can find him?"

Chakwas brought her hands up and placed them urgently on Shepard's shoulders, pushing her back down. "Oh no, no Commander, not just yet. You've been in bed for 9 days so your limbs will be a bit weak. Besides, you've been living on an IV drip since you came in here. So, your first duty is to clean yourself up. Go take a shower and get something to eat. I'll have Gardener prepare something for you that's easy to swallow." The doctor smiled warmly, "You have to look after yourself first Shepard," she said, settling her back on the table. "Plus, Dr. Solus wants to see you before you're discharged."

"Mordin?", Shepard quirked an eyebrow, "why?"

"Well, uh.. it's probably better if he discusses that with you. He has quite a vested interest in.." but before she could finish her sentence the med lab door was opened again and the salarian in question strolled into the room, "Oh, speak of the devil.." was all Chakwas said before making a hasty exit from the room after handing Mordin the med pad. Shepard was confused... and a little scared.

Mordin smiled, nodded and made his way towards the table and looked her over. "Commander Shepard, good to see you're awake." He fiddled with the medical pad, scrutinizing it, "Vital signs look good, skin color back to normal. Injuries healing nicely. Had us worried, Shepard."

"It'll take a lot more then a few bullets to put me down, Mordin," she said, returning his smile, "you should know that."

He nodded curtly, "Indeed Commander. I don't think I've ever worked on another human as much as I have with you. Luckily the Lazarus Project gave you sufficient upgrades. Your weaves and lattices coupled with extensive biotic shielding have saved your life more times than I can count. Have had ample opportunity to study your renewed genetic make up, physical biology, enhanced cybernetic upgrades and their effects on your molecular cell regeneration and..."

Shepard felt herself drift out of focus as she was hit by the hyperactive salarians verbal barrage. How many times had she heard him rant and rave about one thing or another, but hearing him do so about her own body was somewhat... disquieting.

"OK..OK.. I get it, that's... quite enough Mordin," she said, interrupting him, "is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

He stopped immediately, a slight look of disappointment on his face. "Hmm? Ah, no. Apologies Commander, mind was running away with me. Wanted to talk about Lieutenant Vakarian." He took a deep breath before continuing, trying to find the right words as he paced in front of her. "Realize he is suffering from guilt about what happened on Mindoir, he is showing signs of depression and withdrawal from the team. What was that human saying? He is in a _...funk..._ is it?"

"O..k, well Chakwas has already told me about that.."

"Yes, yes.. I realize that. However.." he stopped and turned to face her, his voice and face set hard, serious. "I won't mince words Shepard. Have noticed your relationship with him has.. grown. Wanted to warn you of possible... implications when dealing with the turian species."

Shepard furrowed her brow, "Um... WHAT?"

"Turian biology vastly different from human," he replied, once again pacing across the floor, "sexual contact can lead to..."

Shepard's stomach tightened and her eyes flew open in shock, "Whoa.. whoa! Mordin, what the hell are you saying?"

He looked at her longingly for a moment, turned to the medical cabinet and took out a long syringe and bottle of some sort of liquid. Shepard froze at the sight of the needle, in all the galaxy nothing terrified her more, as silly as that was. She'd faced death countless times, been wounded, maimed and even somewhat injected herself with medigel, but this! This is what got her stomach in knots.

Mordin filled the syringe with the viscous liquid and turned back toward Shepard. "Realize frustrations in both species can be.. eased.. by various activity." As he spoke, he jammed the needle into her arm, emptying the contents into her in mere seconds.

Shepard yelped, and jerked away, "OWW! What the hell!"

Mordin threw the used apparatus away and faced her again. "Simple allergy injection Commander, nothing serious. Take these also," he said pressing a small pouch of pills into her hand, "Take one now, and make sure to come and see me... after." He looked her over again and smiled once more before heading back out the door to leave her sitting in her own shock and confusion.

_What the fuck was that all about?_

**o.O.o**

Mashed potatoes and gravy had never tasted so good. These were real potatoes! _REAL!_ Not that horrible cardboard box instant mash that she knew the cook had hidden away in his cupboards somewhere, but honest to goodness Earth-grown spuds, and coupled with steaming rich beef gravy, Shepard was in pure heaven.

Gardener was still hovering around her, under orders from Chakwas, making sure she ate every last piece of the mushy goodness. She gave him a smile as she pushed the last few mouthfuls around on her plate, "This is fantastic, really Gardener. Simple, but good."

"I'm glad you like it Commander," he said in his usual gruff voice, "but you really should have let me cook you some meat to go with that. It's not exactly what I'd call a proper meal."

Taking the last bite of her potatoes, Shepard stood and ran her damp towel through her slowly drying hair, "It's OK, this was exactly what I felt like. It's amazing how invigorating a hot shower and good food can make you feel."

He beamed a smile as he finished up with the dishes and whipped the tea-towel over his shoulder, "Right you are, Commander," he said as he took his usual place leaning against the bench, "if you need anything else just let me know."

"Will do," she replied with a smile as she pushed herself away from the breakfast bench and turned to take the stairs up towards the Main Battery.

Staring down the long walkway the door at the end seemed to grow so tall and intimidating that she froze at the top step. Panic suddenly filled her, just what was she supposed to say to him? How was she actually going to make this all alright?

"Commander?" Gardener spoke from behind, shaking her out of her thoughts, "You won't find Garrus in there."

She quirked her eyebrow at him, "Really? Where is he, then?"

"He's most likely down in the hold sparring with Grunt again. Ever since he got back, he's been down there just... I dunno, getting out his frustrations I suppose. He doesn't really talk to many of us these days."

Shepard sighed, "Thanks, Gardener" she said.

As he went back to work, she headed towards the elevator, taking it down to lower levels of the Normandy. Before the doors even opened she could hear the sounds of grunting and the echoes of heavy breathing. As she stepped from the lift her eyes fell on the pair. They were both devoid of their amour and wore only their light training attire. Garrus was caught in a headlock, Grunt's powerful arms squeezing around the turian's fringe and throat. She could hear him growl as he struggled against the krogan, ramming his elbow into his belly repeatedly, until Grunt was forced to let go. He pulled himself back, laughing deeply.

"Heh, come on turian," his voice grumbled, "I was expecting a better fight from you today."

Garrus didn't respond. Instead he straightened out his rumpled up black shirt and shorts and eased himself back into a fighting stance, much to Grunt's amusement.

Her eyes met with Grunt as she approached Garrus from behind and his smile fell from his large lips. She could feel the sudden eruption of tension in the air, coming to the realization that her lieutenant knew of her presence.

"That's all for now," Grunt said, gathering himself together and stepping past the turian, "we can finish this up later. Hopefully, you'll be in a better mood for battle." He gave Shepard a sidewards glance as he fell in beside her and placed a heavy hand on her shoulder, "'bout time you got your ass out of bed, Shepard," he grumbled with mirth before disappearing into the elevator leaving her and Garrus alone.

Shepard closed the gap and came to a stop behind him. He straightened his back, the black tee-shirt stretching across his broad cowl, fighting to stay intact, instead of being ripped to shreds. The sight of the strained material brought a smile to her lips. But as she stepped closer to him, the scars at the base of his neck became clearer. The three small holes were still slightly swollen, but other than that, it seemed to be healing well. Still, Shepard couldn't help but feel sympathetic.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" she asked him.

"I could say the same for you, Commander," he said. His voice was detached, cold. The sound sent a chill through her. Her hand reached out to touch him, hesitantly at first, but deciding she was being silly she playfully punched Garrus in the shoulder.

"Well, if you want to spar, I'll be more then willing to put you in your place." She giggled nervously. _Why did this have to be so hard?_

"I don't think so Commander," he said thickly as he stepped away from her and towards the bench where his gear was. He reached for the half empty bottle of water and sat down heavily. Shepard watched him intently for a moment, completely dumbstruck as to how to proceed. How many times was she going to put up with his antics before she got sick of them all together?

"Garrus..?"

He ignored her, gathered his belongings and strode past her towards the elevator. A small ripple of anger shot through Shepard, and she grabbed the moody turian by his arm stopping him in his tracks.

"Garrus, talk to me! You're beginning to worry me here!"

He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and tried to swipe Shepard's hand off him. It only made her grip tighter.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Garrus?" she exclaimed, her tone hard; finally past giving a crap about hurting him, "Moping around down here like you're the only one hurting! I thought we were stronger than that!"

"There is no 'we', Shepard" he said quietly, "There never was and never will be."

Shepard felt like she'd been punched in the stomach, "Is that something you decided on your own? Because I sure as hell wasn't asked for an opinion!"

"I almost killed you Shepard!" he yelled. He threw his gear roughly to the floor and suddenly he was grabbing her shoulder, digging a lone digit into the healing bullet wound she had courtesy of him. There was no immediate pain, but it still ached. "I shot you! Attacked you! How do you expect me to just forget about that?"

"That wasn't you!"

"Yes! Yes, it was! It was my hands and my gun that hurt you! Don't you get it?" His voice crackled, loosing that deep flanging only to be replaced by what sounded like sheer desperation.

"Obviously not, so explain it to me! What happened down there was all because of Sidonis. He did this to you, to US!"

He shook his head, the sensation of defeat and despair hung between them, "It doesn't matter, Shepard. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you, but that's on me."

She covered the hand that was still gripping tightly on her shoulder, with her own, "Garrus, don't pull yourself away from me, not now."

He met her eyes. His own worthlessness was reflected back at him, "I'm sorry Shepard... I can't.."

Shepard felt the full force of her frustration build inside of her. Nothing she said was working. Nothing she said could get past this... blockade... he had built around him, and by the gods, that pissed her off! She wrenched his hand from her, too angry to argue anymore, and stepped away from him.

"Fine, Vakarian," she spat, "have it your way! If you want to mope and feel sorry for yourself, go right ahead! I'm sick and tired of always having to be the one to pick you up when you fall over your own god-damned remorse!" She turned from him and stormed towards the elevator, punching the call button. Her blood was boiling, she could feel her pulse thrumming with anger. Stepping into the lift she looked over her shoulder, partly because she didn't want to look him in the face, and partly because she didn't want him to see the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"I might love you Garrus, but this is just too much. Even for me."

The doors slid shut and the lift carried Shepard away. Garrus was left standing amongst his spilled belongings, wondering if he had just heard what he thought he did?

**o.O.o**

Shepard collapsed on her back on her bed and sighed. Then squealed. Then just threw a fit, punching and kicking the open air, venting her frustrations until she felt somewhat back to normal. Gods, she was pissed! Her body tingled, every nerve seemed fried. What the hell had just happened? How did it come to this? She'd managed to stem the tears in the elevator ride up, but that didn't make her feel any better about the whole situation. She wanted to cry. Bawl like a child until her eyes were red, raw, and she fell into a dazed and woozy sleep. But that wouldn't fix anything. Hell, she wasn't sure anything could fix this... mess. Reaching up she grabbed one of her pillows and held it over her face, screaming into it as loud as she could. She was thankful no one could see or hear her childish tantrum. It wasn't exactly something she was known for, but she was still human. Or, mostly human anyway. Taking a deep breath, she screamed into the pillow again, longer and harder. She had to get the anger out.

But as she did so, she didn't hear the door to her chambers open, the footfalls coming down the steps or the deep 'A-hem', as Garrus made his way towards her and stopped at the foot of her bed.

"Shepard?"

She almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden sound of her name and she threw the pillow from her face, watching as it hit Garrus in the chest and fell to the floor. She looked up into his face, his features were twisted in a weird, 'What the hell have I just walked in on?' look. _Great. Just great. _

"Shepard... I..."

She couldn't face him right now, her anger was starting to build again.

"What do you want, Vakarian?" she spat at him again. He backed up a little as she climbed off the bed and came to stand in front of him. "What do you want from me?"

Now that he was here, standing in front of her, he didn't know what to say. Spirits, he didn't even know if what he heard was right, but he had to find out. He had to know. He fumbled over his words. Why was he always so clumsy when it came to speaking to Shepard about how he actually felt about her. He sighed, she was clearly not going to make this easy on him.

"Why are you here, Garrus?" Shepard asked again through her clenched teeth.

"I know you're angry with me, and I don't blame you but I.. I'm sorry."

Her eyes narrowed, "Don't tell me you're sorry, Garrus! How many times do I have to tell you what you did wasn't your fault!" She turned her back on him, hoping he would get the hint and leave.

The gesture got his back up, so he grabbed her by the elbow and turned her to face him again, "Shepard, I don't want us to be like this. I don't want it to end this way."

"End? What's ending? Nothing ever started, remember?"

Looking down into her eyes, he saw a deep sadness there. He let her arm go and stepped back. The irony wasn't lost on him, she'd thrown back the words he used earlier right into his face.

"I.. guess not," was all he could reply with.

He backed off. There nothing else to say. He had faltered again, and he was so angry and disgusted with himself right now, he wondered why he was even still on this ship. She deserved so much better.

He headed back towards the door, stopping momentarily to look back at Shepard. She had her back to him again and her shoulders were shuddering. He felt a stabbing pain in his heart, she was crying. As he looked at her, he felt his crushed resolve try to pull itself together. Yes, she deserved better, but he was the one that wanted to give it to her. She deserved to be loved, and he wanted to be the one that gave that to her too. She deserved so much more then anything he could give her, but as selfish as it sounded; he wanted to give her everything he could until she found that someone better. He wanted her, even if she didn't feel the same anymore.

"For what it's worth," he said softly, finally able to stand tall as the words came to him, "I really am sorry. I've tried for such a long time to tell you how I really feel about you. Every time I thought I was strong enough, you'd show me just how weak I really was. I could never be the man you deserve Shepard, but that still doesn't stop just how much I have come to care about you. Shepard, for all the hurt I've caused you and all the trouble I've been, I'll still always be here when you need me. I'll always have your back, don't ever doubt that. I... I love you Shepard, I thought you should know that."

Once again, he felt a giant weight lift off his shoulders. He finally said what he had been wanting to say, even if it was all too late. He headed out the door and waited for the elevator to open. He could chastise himself all he wanted, but he would never regret finally admitting to her how he felt. Stepping inside, he pushed the button for the crew quarters and leaned against the back wall as the door came to a close. But as the door came down, a small hand stopped it from closing all the way, and it was thrust back up and opened. Shepard was standing there, tears on her flushed cheeks, her bottom lip quivering slightly. Garrus could only stare, dumbfounded.

"Say it again, Vakarian.." Shepard said, between sobs.

Garrus was stunned by the small quiet voice that came from her, and he softened his gaze as he looked into her teary emerald eyes.

"I love you, Shepard," he said again, feeling the full emotion of the words sweep over him.

She was suddenly in his arms, reaching up to cradle his face and staring at him intently, "Again.." she said breathlessly.

He wiped the last remaining tears from her cheek with his thumb and cupped her face gently. He could say it as many times she wished. "I love you... Shep-.."

And then she was kissing him. Her soft lips pressed incredibly hard against his own mouth. Awkward, angled.. but so positively delicious that he couldn't help but scoop her up into his arms and hold her tightly, letting her kiss him as only she could.

There was no metal armor obstructing the feel of her small human body this time. He didn't have to wish or pretend just what it felt like to have her pressed against him. She was here, in his arms, legs wrapped tightly around his waist and her hips bearing down on him in such a way he had to lean against the back wall of elevator just to hold himself, and her up.

Her body emitted a wondrous heat, even through the thin material of his shirt and hardness of the plates at his chest, she burned into him. Shepard's tongue probed at the slit of his mouth, trying to gain entry and he gladly obliged. The urgency of her kiss sent a thrill through him, electric pangs of heady desire sparked deep within his core. The way she ground her tight little body against his should have been criminal. He had to pull away, and wrenching his hands from the firmness of Shepard's rear was the hardest thing he had to do. He heard her whimper as he withdrew, forcing himself to settle her back onto her feet and pushed her away. She was breathless and swaying on her feet, but she managed to throw herself into Garrus' arms once again, desperate to feel his rigid body against her. But he caught her arms and gently placed them at her sides when he heard a faint crinkling coming from her lower regions. _Was that... normal for a human? _

Shepard quirked her eyebrow and dug around in her pocket, pulling out the pouch of pills given to her by Mordin.

"What are they for?" he asked, eying the capsules quizzically.

"Mordin gave them to me but I don't.." her mind drifted back to his visit earlier. The weird sex talk, the injection and then these pills, "..oh my god." She smiled,_ that cheeky bastard!_

She poked one of the pills out from its casing, threw the blister pack aside, and rolled the small blue pellet around in her palm. Catching Garrus by the arm she slowly pulled him out of the elevator and back into her room, letting the door slide shut behind them. _He thought of everything, I see_... she said quietly to herself.

Garrus looked down at the small caplet. _Is that what I think it is? _he wondered. The look on Shepard's face mirrored how he looked when Mordin had tried talking to him earlier in the week something about humans and turians and... sex? But he had been so annoyed by the fast talking salarian, that he practically ignored everything he said. It seemed, he thought with slight embarrassment, the good Dr. went to Shepard with his sex speech instead. These were those pills.

"Garrus, I want this. Do... you..?" she asked, almost shyly.

_She HAS to ask? Are you kidding me!_ Garrus took a long lingering look at her, picked up the small pill between his dextrous fingers, gently lowered it onto her bottom lip and bending forward he pressed his mouth against hers, using his long flexible tongue to push the pill into her mouth. This time it was his turn to deepen their kiss, letting his tongue explore the rich confines of her and drink in the sensations that came with it.

Shepard broke the kiss and stepped back. She lifted her shirt, easing it up and above her head and slipped it off, finally letting it fall to the floor. He looked her over, intrigued by her slow tantalizing motions. _Was this a human thing?_ She reached behind her back and unclasped her black lace undergarment. The straps fell from her shoulders and she pulled it away. Garrus noticed her cheeks flush as she covered herself with her hands and looked away. _She was so.. adorable_. He reached out to her and slid her hands away and gasped. So this was what these human glands looked like. Not dissimilar from asari, but hugely different from turian women. They had slight mounds, sure; but theirs were more for added protection and gender identity, not like these. Not so curvaceous and purposeful. He wanted to touch them, feel them; but before he could she was moving again. He followed with his eyes as her hands trailed the length of her taunt abdomen, hooking her thumbs around the band of her shorts and paused. He heard her laugh slightly under her breath, making him smile. _Was she losing her nerve?_

She looked up at him again, her eyes dancing with amusement. This was, she realized, the first time she had gone this far in over two years, and as much as she wanted to right now, she had to wonder just how different was she going to be in his eyes under these clothes? What if he freaked out? What if she was so different that it.. turned him off? Gods, she hadn't even thought about any of this at the beginning. It wasn't that she was scared, she actually found the whole thing funny. As she stared into his gaze she saw the earnest in them, the desire. Or was that her own eyes reflecting back? She smiled, the corner of her mouth edging into a sly grin as her fingers played with the elastic at her shorts, and taking a deep breath she started to lower them.

Garrus caught the playfulness in her eyes, the twinkling of mirth; and she pulled her lower garments down and kicked them aside, standing tall in front of him. His breath caught in his throat, she was completely naked and staring him down with a wicked grin that tugged at his loins. He drank her in, letting his stormy blue eyes remember every curve, every angle, every wisp of hair that was her. To touch her now would seem like a sin, like he was destroying something ancient, sacred. Like he would break her. This human skin looked too tender, too soft.

"Touch me..." she said, sounding almost out of breath.

He chuckled, shook his head to dissipate the fervent wondering and reached out towards her. His hand fell on the hollow of her collarbone. She jumped a little at his touch, sucking in a breath through her clenched teeth, then relaxed. He let his fingers trace the bone there, softly and slowly. He stepped towards her and let his other hand reach around and come to rest on the small of her back, and brought his head down to nuzzle the crook of her neck. Her scent engulfed him, wafting into his senses, strong like summer rain and soap. His hand traveled lower, the soft pads of his talons tracing along the curve of her left breast, cupping her gently in his palm. The flesh there was soft and malleable. He squeezed her lightly and she responded with the smallest of moans that elicited a low purr of his own. His thumb grazed over the top, brushing past the now erect nub that adorned the peak of her breast. Shepard sucked in another breath and sighed heavily, this was obviously a sweet spot. He retraced the movement, this time lingering at the hard knot and pinching it carefully between his thumb and forefinger. She squirmed against him, a louder moan escaping from her lips. The sound made him swoon, every murmur; every vocalization she made pulled at his groin. He could feel himself straining against his own undergarments, the uncomfortable tightness of his growing arousal desperate to be freed. With his fingers still playing with her, he brought his other hand around and cupped her other breast, mimicking the movements there and lowered his head from her neck to the valley between them. His mandibles fluttered against the heated skin there, and he let his tongue flick out and sweep across the mounds, taking his time as the hardened nubs came to his mouth.

Shepard's head rolled, arching her back and pushing her chest out even more; letting Garrus take her in his mouth over and over. She could feel the warmth of his tongue as it caressed her, and every now and then the sharp scrape of his teeth against her flesh. No pain, just pleasure. She took hold of the side of his head, stroking along the back of his fringe, pulling him closer. She was lost in the sensations, her skin twitched under his hold as he explored her. _Did it always feel like this? Did it always feel this good?_ He pulled away and a whine escaped her lips, the cool air rushed in and settled on the faint trails of saliva that pooled around her nipples. She tried to bring him back towards her, but as quick as he moved he was now lifting her easily off the floor and carrying her towards the bed. She wrapped her legs around his thin waist, pressing herself against him when she felt it. It was unmistakeable, to her and Garrus. He stopped in mid-step and she looked up into his eyes, curiosity gleaming within them. She slid down from his grip, pushed him slightly backwards so he sat on the edge of the bed and bent forward to plant a series of gentle kisses across his mouth. A low growl rumbled within his chest as she hooked the black tee-shirt around her fingers and with help, freed his torso from the confines of the tight material. With a smile, she climbed into his lap and gently pushed him down to lay on the bed so she could straddle him. She heard his breath quicken, her exposed lower half pressed deeply against his groin where he was hard and rigid. She lowered her face, letting her mouth explore the foreign plating on his chest, sweeping her tongue between the hardened scales and nipping and biting where the flesh was softer and unprotected.

Garrus moaned, his eyes closed tightly as Shepard continued to assault him with her dextrous but strong tongue. Somehow she knew exactly which spots to hit, knew exactly how to manipulate her mouth to find the places on his body that made him want to sink into the bedding and just dissolve under the sheer pleasure he was feeling. Turian women just couldn't do this, they couldn't be warm and pliable with their mouths like he was finding out a human could. Why had he waited so long? Her hands caressed his chest, stroking the ridges of his protruding collarbone with hot fingers like she had to feel every inch of him, making sure he was real. He almost bucked up against her, desperate to feel the the heat between her thighs as she slowly rocked on top of him. It took every ounce of self control he had in him to hold back. But she wasn't making it easy, she never did. He forced his eyes open to look down at her and sighed heavily. She was twisting and turning, her lips and teeth drawing more heated moans from him as she trailed lower to his sensitive abdomen and then, much to his surprise.. even lower. Her eyes lifted lazily to meet his, and she took a long final lick up the length of his belly and smiled, a devious grin etched across her flushed face. A small twinge of panic shot through him. _She wouldn't... would she?_ He let his head fall back against the bed and covered his eyes with his forearms. He felt her move from her position in his lap and stand between his bent legs removing the rest of his clothing with brisk efficiency. He held his breath as he waited for her reaction to what was sure to be a very different looking appendage. She made no sound; no movement and even though his heart seemed to miss more then a few beats, he pried his eyes open again to look at her. She was staring at him in his entirety, her face soft and gentle.

"Don't be afraid.." she said, her voice almost inaudible.

She trailed kisses along his stomach and then moved lower, down to where he stood proudly, hard and swollen. Shepard let her tongue delicately run along the length of his erection from base to tip, and Garrus thought he would loose all grip on reality. He had heard somewhere, at some time or another that humans pleased each other in such a way, but never really gave it a second thought. It was definitely not a turian practice. Well, not without horrendous results, he imagined. He didn't want to think about that. But this? This was.. was... Spirits! He didn't know _WHAT_ this was! He cried out once, twice; that cry turning into to a powerful moan as Shepard took him into her mouth. He felt himself grow between her lips, becoming harder and larger as she slowly moved up and down. His hand was suddenly on her head, his talons tangled in the mess of red hair as she continued to suck with more pressure, increasing her pace. Her hand joined her mouth, and with quick movements, she stroked the length of him. His muscles tensed, body arching slightly as she continued to work at him eagerly. He growled, a sound so low and dangerous, he thought it would scare her, but it only seemed to egg her on. He could feel his desire build and build, becoming dangerously close to ending it all right then and there and as he was about to reach his peak, Shepard slowed and ran a final agonizingly long lick up the entire length of him. His body was still spasming, his breathing labored and eyes wide. Shepard smiled, her hands traveling up his waist and rested on his chest.

"I've never... felt anything like that before..."

Shepard arched an eyebrow. "Did you like it?"

"Oh Spirits, Shepard! Yes.. _Yes_."

She giggled, leaning forward to brush her lips against his. "Good..."

They lingered there, locked in time for a moment. Then, as swiftly as before he was lifting Shepard off his lap and laying her beside him. The fingers of one hand slid over her body, followed by his mouth, licking and nipping at the tender flesh of her breasts and stomach. The soft pads of his talons swept along her pelvis and Shepard jerked, arching her back as his hand found the soft mound between her thighs. Garrus felt the immediate heat and marveled at the feel of such wetness there. _This was definitely different._ Her scent was unmistakable. Intrigued by the discovery, he carefully climbed on top of her, sliding both of his hands down her thighs, gripped her around the crook of her knees and edged her legs apart, settling himself between them. His position was somewhat uncomfortable, his long turian legs buckled awkwardly beneath him, but this was an opportunity he just had to take advantage of.

Shepard felt so exposed. His touch felt like fire, and she moaned, wanting him to touch her there more and more. The rough scrape of his skin trailed her inner thigh, first one then the other, and he nuzzled closer to the source of her heat. Shepard screwed her eyes shut as the sudden flick of a long, strong tongue ran along her slick inner folds, sending a shuddering jolt of electricity through her. She bucked hard as Garrus' tongue retraced its course, this time with more urgency and want. Her hand found its way to his head, fingers laced through the grooves of his fringe and she pushed him further into her, squeezing her thighs as if to trap him and the ever raising pleasure he gave her. She arched her back, crying out over and over as he continued to lap at her, concentrating on the hardened nub he found among the glistening folds and scant tuft of hair.

He watched as she writhed above him, her own hands now winding around her body and cupping her breasts, pinching at them as she groaned. It seemed he had found another sweet spot, and as he continued to attack the tiny swollen knot, he felt his own desire to take her start to overwhelm him. He lifted himself over her, catching her eyes as he did so and leaned in to nuzzle her neck moaning long and deep. She was open to him, he could see that; and lining himself up with her he gently pushed against her entrance. He wanted to thrust himself in her, hard and fast like his instincts told him to, but something in him warned him against it. Something in him wanted to remember this moment for as long as he still had his senses. He wanted to fix this image and feeling in his mind, that it was Shepard, his Commander and object of all his affections that he was about to enter. He nudged forward a little more, coaxing a slight whimper from her lips. He bent forward and let their mouths meet again, adding another inch or two. He could already feel this magical tightening of her, somehow she managed to grip around him with some unknown force, as if it were pulling him in. She licked and sucked along one of his mandibles, and heady with longing he entered her fully, not stopping until he was hilt deep inside of her. His breath rushed out in a loud purr, the feel of her enclosed around him was amazing. This hot, wet and soft sensation was unlike anything he ever felt. He withdrew just as slowly and Shepard cried out, bucking her body against him as he carefully pulled, her insides gripping him just as tightly. He thought he was going to pass out, the intense connection they had made his body tremble. He once again found himself fighting against his instincts to quicken his pace, take her harder and faster. The feel of her wetness on his thighs made him aware of just how ready she was for such an onslaught, but there was still doubt in his mind. But, as if reading his mind, Shepard cupped his face in her hands, bringing his mouth to hers kissing him deeply and smiled.

"It's OK..." she said.

He looked down at her, her eyes clouded with passion. She reached up pulled him into her, wrapping her arms around his cowl tightly as he brought one hand under her head and the other he leaned on for support. She spread her legs wider, allowing him fully between her thighs and hitched one up and around his narrow waist. Looking down at how she was splayed sent his hormones into overdrive. His turian pride be damned, this was what they both wanted, and only a fool would not obey the raw desire that bubbled beneath the surface.

He thrust himself into her and Shepard squealed, more out of surprise then pain. The sudden animalistic change in Garrus sparked a deep shudder of arousal in her, and she found herself digging her fingernails into the plates of his back. Fueled by her reaction, Garrus pulled back and shoved himself in again, almost pushing her up higher along the bed. His thrusts where hard and urgent, emitting small grunts each time he plunged himself into her her.

"Harder," she told him, "I want it harder.."

How could he refuse? He increased in speed and force and again Shepard exclaimed in surprise. He moved into her over and over, their bodies responding to each other as if they were one. As he filled her, Shepard would lift her hips allowing him full penetration. She pressed her head against the side of his, their husky breaths loud in each others ears, and then a sharp pang as Garrus bit down on the soft flesh at her shoulder.

She cried out in pain, an odd sort of pain that did nothing to diminish the raging fire within her, and she clawed at his back as he continued to take her again and again. Then he was moving, shifting onto his knees and pulling Shepard up so she could straddle his lap. She let her legs spread further apart, this new position allowing her to fully impale him and grind her hips against his. Shepard groaned her approval, urging him once again to do it harder and faster.

His mouth enclosed around her breast as she moved above him, undulating her hips, forcing herself onto him over and over. The feeling of being so completely full, slipping and sliding as he deeply probed her sent the shooting spasms of orgasm upon her. He gripped her hips, digging his claws into her pliable flesh as her body shook, releasing wave after wave of crushing pulses that clamped around his own heat buried inside of her. The pressure made Garrus growl, a sound he was sure the entire ship could hear. It was as if she were sucking him back in, devouring him. Yet still she didn't stop, even as the renewed sense of warm slick juices gushed out of her, the musky scent enveloping them both only prompted him to relentlessly drive into her with unyielding haste desperate for his own release.

The room echoed with their combined moans and heavy breathing, the sounds of their bodies coming together, hard.. loud. Garrus let Shepard fall backwards, her body stretched out and arched, but still keeping her in his lap. He kneeled above her, his hands still clamping down on her hips and he can see where he is entering her furiously. The sight taunts him, her pink moist folds opening and accepting him time and again. Shepard bucked her hips, rubbing her swollen nub against his pelvis between thrusts when he could feel her start to constrict again.

Holding her tightly he let his eyes close, concentrating on the walls that surrounded him, slowly starting to shudder and vibrate. Being inside her, deeply, completely; with her soft mouth screaming in pleasure and her sweat covered body at his mercy, Garrus could feel the stirrings of his own orgasm come upon him hard and fast.

He drove into her, every breath getting more urgent, every cry more insistent, when he felt , Shepard once again tightening around him, her own screams making her body toss and turn as she pulled at her breasts and pinched her nipples. It was all too much, he couldn't hold it in any longer, and as Shepard undulated beneath him in the throws of her own passion, Garrus let go of any hold he had and succumbed to his own pleasure releasing himself inside of her with a groan so loud it shook his entire body.

Together, they rode the waves of blinding ecstasy, both of them finding each other through closed eyes as their frenzied spasms brought them to the peak and back, until they were left breathless and spent... and barely clinging onto reality.

Garrus let himself fall down beside Shepard and pulled her on top of him, her limp body burning into him again. Her labored breathing began to slow, and she looked up into his eyes and smiled.

"...Wow..." was all she could manage to say.

He chuckled, nuzzling his face into the warmth of her neck. Wow, was right! They'd definitely be doing _that_ again!

"Are you.. OK?" he asked, hoping she got the exact meaning of his question.

She nodded, bringing her mouth to his and kissed him quickly. Gods, she felt... alive! Not just pleased, or pleasured.. but actually ALIVE, like she could take on the Reapers right now and kick their sorry asses back to depths of dark space single handed. But it wasn't just alive she felt, she also felt... complete. And the turian below her, that embraced her so warmly, so... protectively; had everything to do with that.

"Garrus, I... I love you Garrus, you know that, don't you."

He buried his face amidst the damp tangles of hair and brought her closer against his body, "Of course I do, and I love you," he paused a moment, "M...Maqi," he said tentatively, testing the name out, seeing how it felt on his lips, "you do know that now I have you, I'm never going to want to let you go."

She met his eyes and gazed into them longingly, "I should hope not, Vakarian," she purred, nuzzling into the side of his face once again, "I should hope not."

**o.O.o**

**Epilogue**

Shepard sat at the bar in Kasumi's empty room and ran a lone finger over the rim of her glass as she looked over the data pad Kelly had handed her earlier in the day. The information it held was dire. More alien attacks, more human attacks, more EVERYTHING attacks! And supposedly, it was her job to go and fix it all. _Well, fuck!_ And then there was this small little tidbit footnoted at the bottom. It wasn't much to look at, a small blurry picture that apparently some colonist in the outer terminus had taken that showed some alien or another that was unknown. Shepard brought the pad closer to her face to study the image barely making out only the thick black strands that protruded from its head.

She threw the data pad back on the bench. Screw it.. she couldn't really be bothered with this shit right now.

As she brought the glass of sweet liquid to her lips, she smiled- then blushed. The memory of last nights events played out in her mind.. for the thousandth time today. So it had happened. She was finally with Garrus, and that thought made her happier then she had ever felt before. Not even when the face of Kaidan would every now and then drift into her consciousness did it phase her. She was done with him, OVER him, and she was finally at peace with the one man that actually really truly knew her, and trusted her as much as she trusted him.

"Am I interrupting you Shepard?"

The sudden sound of Thane's deep voice shook her from her thoughts as he took the seat next to her and turned to face her with a sad smile.

"Not at all, Thane," she replied, suddenly very wary of his close proximity to her. She still remembered their conversation on Mindoir at her mother's burial site and the day before they rescued Garrus. This wasn't what she needed right now.

He seemed to ponder over his words carefully before speaking, "I wanted to talk to you about.. what we spoke of on Mindoir."

Shepard's gut clenched, _I knew it!_

"Thane, look..."

But he raised his hand, waving her words away before she could finish.

"Let me say this Shepard, I need to say this.."

He took a deep breath and continued, "What I said on Mindoir, I meant every word. To not have you in my life, especially after every thing I have seen and done, would be a life I would rather not live. I have thought long and hard these past weeks about my feeling for you, and just how much I come to care for you and I realize now that.. yes Shepard, I do love you."

Shepard tried to interject, but again Thane stopped her, catching her hand in his and held it gently.

"I do love you Shepard, but... it is not the love one has for a.. lover, or spouse, or mate. It's a love that one has for a companion, a comrade in arms.. a friend. I consider you one of my closest friends, and after the existence I've lived these past 10 years, they are very few and far between. I'm sorry if I worried you, or caused you any trouble with my words that day. Although everything I said there is as true now as it was back then."

Thane released her hand and sat back, waiting for a response. A wave of relief spread over her, and she reached out and kissed Thane quickly on the cheek, followed by a smile.

"Thank you, Thane," she said, "I really appreciate that. And I too consider you an important ally and friend. What we have together, no one else does and that's what makes it so special, right?"

Thane arched his brow, a comical look on his face as his Commander spoke. The words she spoke were so... unlike her. They were too.. sunshiny. His eyes went down to the glass on the bar that she was nursing.

"Ahh, just how many drinks have you had?" he asked, a smile tugging at his lips.

She giggled heartily, something he had never seen her do before. Her whole demeanor seemed to have changed, and he could only have guessed that Garrus was the cause of that. He was happy for her.

"Not many, four or five maybe?"

"Uh huh," he picked up the glass and gave it a quick sniff. The sweet but acrid smell made him draw back.

"Just what are you drinking Shepard?" he asked again.

Laughing, she took the glass from his hand and downed the rest of the yummy liquid in a single gulp.

"Schnapps, man! Peach Schnapps!"

**THE END**


End file.
